To Stand in the Sun

When I'm on my way to work, the sun is barely in the sky. When I'm in the office, the sun is up and I think, "What a nice day. If only I were out." When I'm done, I head home and the sun has set. The day is gone, just like that.

Then one day I realised - I want to stand in the sun.

So before Chinese New Year, I served my last day at my previous job. It was my very first job, the one that gave me a chance to work and do something meaningful. It was the job that put food in my tummy and allowed me to contribute to my family. It saw me through races, holidays and countless parties (hey Zoukout and F1) and helped me repay my study loan.

After 3.5 years though, I am ready to switch gears. If you want change, you've got to do things differently. I wanted 2015 to be different, to stand out, be remembered. So call it risky, call me reckless but I'm taking the plunge. I'm taking one year off work, to have the flexibility and freedom to travel, dabble in photography, read, write, be outdoors, do sports, hit the gym, swim - basically, stand in the sun. This will be the year of learning for fun, learning without fear of failure, learning by doing. I'll sharpen my skills and produce work on my own terms.

I'm all too aware that it sounds idealistic. Even supportive friends cautioned me.  What about job stability, company insurance, benefits and leave? What about CPF? What about a monthly pay check? It's actually really scary not to have a monthly paycheck to depend on. But there's always this dilemma - you either get time or you get money. You can't have it both ways.

There's also no longer any KPIs and promotions - milestones to tell you where you stand. I have to forge my own path and that's scary. It's highly probable that this year will fly by and I'd have nothing to show for it. But at the same time, it's now or never. I would regret not taking this opportunity to seek clarity on what I want in my life now that I am in control of everything I do - can I make a living? Will it be meaningful? What are the limits I can push myself to? What is it that I want and can I achieve it without being employed?

That's a lot of questions to answer in a year.

In the meantime, I'm still grounded and I will be realistic and practical. I'm still working, albeit not in a "proper" job. I've been teaching tuition for the past 8 years and I've been doing well, so I'll take this year to throw myself into it, impart knowledge and inspire kids.

I don't rule out returning to the corporate world. For now though, I'm taking the year off to stand in the sun.