Romanticise

I think I am too romantic. Romantic, not in the popular definition, but being "imbued with or dominated by idealism, a desire for adventure, chivalry etc".

I'm easily influenced by the things that I come into contact with. The movies I watch, the books I read and the music I listen. As with all great creative works, there is a strong element of fantasy, based upon drama, building moods and atmospheres. Clubbing looks really good in music videos, but aren't that great half the time. Instability, troubles, good looks and money make for good TV... but possibly not real life.

I like the notion that I'm the star of my life. I like the notion that love conquers all, makes one feel alive and special. I like the notion that every conversation is witty and leads to some important consequence later on. I like the notion that the good guys will have a happy ending.

Sometimes I even think that there'd be music in the background at some critical moment. Like a cool soundtrack for all the cool moments for all the cool things I've done!

But reality is a little different. Things don't last forever. Sometimes you aren't the most popular person in the room. Sometimes it gets quiet. Sometimes it gets lonely. Sometimes you're by the beach, but it's not a big party. Nobody breaks into song, like they do on Glee.

It's great to indulge in fantasy and fiction. In fact we do it so often we expect these elements to appear in real life.

I know I do, but I'm slowly learning to realise that it isn't like that. My life isn't TV. When I was in Bali, with Lyon, Pamy and Stanley, there was a moment when we were at the beach, where we just laid there. Not on deck chairs, but on towels. No magaritas in our hands, possibly a bottle of mineral water. Our sunglasses weren't Tom Ford. We weren't having interesting conversation. There was no music in the background. The waves weren't crashing dramatically. They were just there.

It would have made for a terrible movie, or book, or TV show.

But such peace, serenity, company and comfort makes for a good life. That moment has been etched into my memory. Nothing happened... but I loved it. I'm learning to embrace it. Maybe my life won't be as glamorous as I thought it would. But it doesn't matter. I'm happy.