Learning On The Job

People close to me probably know that I'm very good at pushing blame. It's a defence mechanism. It happens naturally. I don't even think about it. Most of the time I'm not even aware.

But ever since I started work, this mechanism doesn't really work. When you're entrusted with a project, you do everything to make it happen. Whether you foresee the problems, or not; whether you can solve the problems, or not; whether you feel threatened by the problems or not; it's your job to make things happen. Or even better, make it a success.

I've been forced to be more responsible. When things go wrong, I'll puff my chest out, look as unfazed as I can, step up and accept that the mistake is my fault, that I'll learn from it and try my best to ensure that it doesn't happen again. It's tough to be this grown up but I think it's a good learning experience for me. I'll never be able to become better, gain the necessary skills, if I focus on the positive and don't find out what's wrong.

Sometimes I discuss the issues with my boss. I hope I don't come across whiny though!

Finding solutions to problems is my job, regardless of the job scope. It's how I plan to excel at work; it's how I plan to excel in life.

Averages

I've to constantly remind myself life is about averages. There're extreme highs and extreme lows, but seldom are things defined by them. From performances to relationships, it's always through consistent hard work, constant commitment, continuous courage to carry on, whatever the endeavour.

You've had a bad day, you've done something badly, you've treated someone wrong... but if your intentions are good, you've had more good days than bad, you do more good than bad, you treat people how you want to be treated, then yes, you're on the right track.

To myself, and you all, don't be consumed by emotions. They can be the biggest motivation and the greatest restriction. It's easy to overreact and to overthink. It's easy to be easily affected by what goes on around... to be really happy and really sad. When push comes to shove, stay stable, stay strong, believe and push on.

You'll be who you want to be; you'll get what you want; you'll be happy.

As Fast As I Can

Took a different running route today. Didn't even plan to run, just felt that I had to.

It was refreshing, possibly more so because it was new and spontaneous. I ran past the Sport School and beside the express way. Up the slope, down the hill. I haven't had terrain like this since I was in the army! One foot in front of the other, on and on. It's a longer distance than I usually conquer too. The route was amazing... just enough light, smoky, mysterious, romantic, atmospheric. It was quite deserted too. Even took a few wrong turns to where there were no paths, and had to cross the fields.

Was absolutely drenched at the end of it all, with blood pumping furiously through every vessel, to every muscle. I just felt amazingly awake and so alive. Alone and alive.

And free.

Raya at Ros'

We take every chance we get to meet rather seriously. We take every chance we get to meet and have good, brain-spoil food to celebrate tradition, even more seriously! We've developed our own traditions. Now Chinese New Year would not be complete without going to Melvin's house to have curry chicken. And with the exception of last year, we've been going to Ros' place for Hari Raya.

And so we were excited to invited over once again this year for amazing food and it didn't disappoint. All the anticipation! All the salivation! It was worth it! We sat there for close to two hours, wiped out the food on the table and even some of the goodies.

We talked about a future wedding, potential jobs. We teased about future babies, potential boyfriends. We planned future get-togethers, potential drinking sessions. We wanted to get some sparklers, but it was drizzling outside. After all that, we sat around, a little quiet after being so stuffed.

Then, we took a photo to remember the day by. Shared it via Whatsapp. At the end of a hard day’s work, it’s just great to have something to celebrate.

Do It All Again

Another weekend passed and as with every weekend, I'm doing something I've never done before.

I was the emcee for Mak's wedding. The feeling was amazing, knowing that I contributed in some special way to his big day. I was a bit overwhelmed by emotion during his second march-in... I don't know what came over me but I was just very happy for him. In the morning when he had to fetch his bride, he had to read 10 commandments and he did so with great sincerity, something that moved me greatly.

Watched Glee 3D with the gang and a special guest. Hopefully this guest has a place in gatherings to come. I'm not too fond of 3D. It does nothing for me. The experience of being immersed in a film doesn't really come from technology. It all boils down to basics and I'm not a fan of the glasses too. It was something I wouldn't have watched if not for the gang... the shared experiences - the laughing, the singing, the clapping, the leering, the perving - was what made it more fun than it would've been.

The coming weeks will no doubt be the peak of the year. It gains momentum in September very often, just after shifu's birthday. I don't know if it's coincidental, but last year I fondly remember those parties, my own birthday, Halloween, more birthdays, Zoukout, Christmas and then New Year!

It's only going to get more insane from here.

Voice of a DJ

So I was emceeing yesterday and I was freaking nervous. I didn't know my material that well and it was the first time that I did such a ceremony. I think I've lost a bit of emceeing groove. The last time I did it was last year... for a wedding.

I'll be doing it again this Sunday... for a wedding.

Anyway I took quite a bit of time to warm up. I know that obviously I a was shaking like a leaf on stage. But I was at least more confident of how I sounded. At the end of the entire thing some of the bosses and the CEO came up and told me that I had a nice voice. I'm quite happy... maybe I'll even do some emceeing for fun in the near future!

After this stint I'm going to try to be a DJ.

My Ideal Weekend

My ideal weekend would start with an early morning commute to Sentosa, alone. Taking the tram into the island with the rays of the rising sun shining into the cabin. I'd drop off at the beach station and walk to Palawan Beach and then I'd go for a run, down to Tanjong beach, make a turn and head to Siloso and then back to Palwan again. It'd be 11 and I'd chill at Cafe del Mar with fried chicken wings and ice-cold beer while watching hot bodies stroll by. When I become bored I'd take out August Man and flip it. If something catches my eye, I'd read it, but not too seriously.

At noon it'll be too hot to stay around, so I'd make my way home to wash off the sand but the brown of the tan would still be on my skin. The awesome chicken rice or sliced fish noodles from the coffeeshop downstairs would make for a good lunch. I'd pack it to eat while watching Hawaii Five-O. After that I'd hide in the room under the sheets with someone special and we'd laugh hysterically while watching Modern Family.

Then the outside world would be cool and dark, shifting gears into mysterious and sexy, and I'd change to something revealing and classy. We'd head to town for shopping and dinner at Watami. After that we'd catch a movie, some thing that's a bit humorous but has a serious take on life, not only with big name actors that sell, but with a brave story to tell.

When I'm back home I'd be happy and sleepy. I'd whatsapp a few friends to tell them about my day and then, I'd wish the world good night.