Why Climb?

The view from Mt Rinjani

As a few of my friends and I plan to conquer Mt Ophir in September, I ask myself, "Why do I climb?"

I enjoy the great outdoors but I've done nothing like this when I was younger. Growing up, my parents placed great emphasis on my education and learning things like the piano, which they thought would pay off in the future. Which was why my foray into physical activities often ended up as nothing more than half-hearted attempts that are too embarrassing to mention. One thing led to another and instead of joining something like ODAC in Junior College for example, I went on to be the president of the Harmonica Orchestra. 

Since then, I've been spending the last 10 years or so trying to "escape my upbringing". Going through NS was the turning point - I learned that I was capable of pushing myself physically, more than I ever imagined. It's the first time I've ever had formal physical training and it led me to discover that despite my poor coordination, I really enjoyed sweating it out, whether it was running half-marathons or trekking in Bunei.

Last year, I've completed close to 10 races and even went to Malaysia for adidas' King of the Road. Venturing into the great outdoors was also in the grand scheme of things - I've conquered Mt Rinjani in Lombok, one of the toughest things I've ever had to do. Unfortunately we didn't manage to continue the rest of the itinerary so I'm keen to make the trip there again. Last month, I organised a short one-day trip to Gunung Panti with X-Trekkers for my colleagues, which was partially subsidised by the company. That went pretty well too. 

I enjoy the natural "puzzles" in front of me - which branch to hold, where's the best place to take the next step. The gorgeous landscape, coupled with the unpredictability of being outdoors and at the mercy of nature and luck, made me feel alive and satiated my thirst for adventure. I'm a slightly risk-averse so it was interesting to be forced into such situations. 

I enjoy talking and bonding with fellow trekkers, especially with the guides or "friends I have not yet been made". People open up a lot more when you're stuck out there, looking out for each other. Instinctively you feel that you're relying on these people around you, that you've got to stay strong for them and not give up... it's that sense of teamwork that one doesn't normally find in the jungle city life. It's also refreshing for me to talk to people such as the local guides who see the world so differently than I do, smash my preconceived notions and giving my perspectives a spin. 

I feel different after every trip. Physically and mentally I feel accomplished. Spiritually I feel lighter, more optimistic. 

I'm no adrenaline junkie - I don't think I'll go anywhere near Everest this lifetime, but I'd love to train harder and continue stepping foot on the more manageable trails in Asia and around the world. It gets harder when you see your peers settling down. We're all getting older and it's a phase of life that most people have grown out of, and I feel like an oddball because I've only started discovering it. 

But then again, it's never too late to start. The energy that comes from being at the brink of so much awesome drives me to explore new heights, and I welcome you to join me.

Emotions vs Decisions

Say you've dated someone for a couple of months. And then you're told that said person has a terminal illness. So now you've got a decision to make - thank you for the good times, but I don't think I could go through this, the pain would blow me to smithereens OR let's take it on together, I'll be by your side forever, this'll be story I'll be proud of, like Romeo and Juliet.

"Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad?"

That's probably one of the most common sentiment reflected in lyrics of love songs. That struggle between the imaginary right and wrong, the physical and the emotional, the logical and the impulsive. At the end of the day, the smart thing to do would be to take the emotions out of the decision-making, stash it somewhere far, far away and think... like in terms of SWOTs or risk & reward. Stupid as it might sound, isn't it easier to think in black and white and erase the struggle in the middle? Why make it difficult for yourself?

You need an answer, you need it now. You need to take action, you need to move on with your life and not cling on to the drama and the struggle.

It makes for good TV but it sucks when you've to go through it.

So what I'd say is to, very simply, think it through and decide. In this case, if you know that the person's someone you'll never come across again, stick by him. If it's great love you know you'll never get to experience, if it's once in a lifetime, yes, by all means, bite the bullet, go through with it.

If you think you can't do it, say no, back out. Life's hard as it is. Don't make it harder for yourself.

At the end of it all though, intuition is not based on the logical. It's based on experience. It's also based on feeling - that sixth sense. You can be the best thinker but sometimes it all comes down to luck, and you wish you made decisions based on your gut. Even if it turns out wrong, it's hard to deny what at that moment, felt so right.

I know it's hard for you, but whatever the choice you make, it's the right one. That's all you need to know.

Good luck.

Love & Friendship

Maybe we've gotten it wrong.

Maybe we should treat lovers like friends and friends like lovers.

All the drama, intense emotions, up-and-downs - those belong in a friendship. It's the kind of ship that's made to be battered by strong winds and relentless waves. Being together with a group of friends should be all hands on deck as you sail through life - adventurous, sword in hand, parrot on shoulder! Laugh wildly, cry madly, puke constantly (from nights of alcohol abuse). On the other hand, being with a lover should be like being on a luxury cruise. Do the buffet. Do the casino. Do the pool. Then do it in the bed - you'll probably be able to rock it harder than the huge-ass cruise ship would in a storm.

I don't know if that comparison works cos I haven't actually been on a cruise ship before. But you get the drift.

We approach love like we deserve the best. So we try lovers like we're at a buffet, stuffing ourselves till we become sick, like you can never have your fill, like there's a better dish to try. But lovers are more like porridge, bland but it perseveres  It's something you can stick with for life, in sickness in health, when you're young and after you've become old. It's not a McSpicy, it's not a Double Down. A lover's a comfortable constant. Friends, however, are the buffet. They come in all shapes and sizes, all tastes and flavours. They should be different from you, complement you in some way. Each one a different perspective, each one pushing you out of your comfort zone, forcing you to grow, daring you to try something new, challenging you... yes, that's what friends are for!

Most people don't choose friends based on looks. More often than not, it's the after effect of having gone through a common experience, fighting common battles, going through shit together. Just like that, they stick. But maybe that's how being in a relationship should be like. Lots of us-against-the-world, constant struggle to be accepted by each other, vindicated by others (very forbidden love, ala Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast etc), forging a future together. That's how a strong bond is built. Friendships should be more superficial, kind of like blind dates. You decide within 5 minutes whether you like the person, whether there's chemistry, whether you can be bothered to contact them again and whether you'd do cool stuff with them. You don't have to commit to one and you don't have to commit the rest of your life!

It'll be interesting for friends to be treated to an overdose of passion, excitement and drama; and for lovers to be treated with stability, support and simplicity.

So just maybe, we should treat our friends like lovers and lovers like friends.

Wealth Over the Edge

"Wealth Over the Edge: Singapore" is a Wall Street Journal article that has been popular with many friends on Facebook. It takes a look at how Singapore is now the playground for the rich, why they're gathering here more so than anywhere else in the world. It's refreshing, with a standard of reporting that's sorely lacking in local paper, and objective, stating the highs without ignoring the lows. Like the fact that you can't have a nightspot selling a glass of $26k champagne with a diamond in it without having a Ferrari crash into a taxi.

What's undeniable is that the same people who have brought their riches to Singapore are the ones driving prices up - property prices, car prices, food prices. Of course I do buy in to the logic that it's preferable that they spend their money here. With that comes their businesses here and talent! But it puts a lot of pressure on the average Singaporean who definitely has aspirations of being anything but average. We want it all - from having a place to call our own to owning items from luxury brands that have set up shop along Orchard Road and Marina Bay Sands. It all seems out of reach. 

That's why our priorities are a little skewed and work-life balance is a myth.

All these aside, the same things that attract the rich to our shores are the advantages that we take for granted. - order, predictability and control. Maybe, instead of whining about how difficult it is living here, we need to find ways of exploiting the situation,  using the winds to our benefit.  This moment, more than any other in the country's history, we're wealthy and there are opportunities abound. 

Rather than wallow in self-pity or angry facebook posts, maybe it's time to channel our energy into finding a way to get what we want and eventually, be satisfied with the life we lead. 

Yesterday I

Yesterday at Sweat! I...

Started off with a warm-up which ended with Turkish Get-up. It was more challenging than I expected.

And then the circuit. Squats with medicine ball, resistance band row, lunges, insane push-ups, Vipr jumping jacks. It ended off with 4 sets of 20 second sprints, for me, on the TRX.

Repeat, two more times.

Before cool down, we did ab exercises on the medicine ball.

Needless to say, today, my legs hurt badly. My stomach is cramping up every time I cough or sneeze. I feel the need to stretch it out every five minutes. My body's kind of in sleep mode.

Basically, now, I should be hiding in bed for the entire weekend.

Ouch.

Welcome 2013

I welcome 2013 with open arms and not because 2012 hasn't been good. It's because 2012 has been good, possibly one of the best years of my life, and 2013's going to open doors to greater things!

So maybe, very quickly, a look back at some bits of my life that are worthy of mention in 2012, and that I have plans for in 2013.

Relationships
When it comes to people I guess I have been spoiled. I let go off more people than I should have, mainly because I didn't know any better. So now I do know better and I count my blessings. I will fight harder for you to be in my life, family and friends. You deserve it as you've stuck around when I deserved it the least. It's the most wonderful feeling in the world and I know it. I don't take it for granted and maybe now it's time to show it. Now I see it's not important that people share the some interests, come from the same background or speak the same language. It's the willingness to stay in contact and believing that through our connection, we become better people.

It's something I sincerely believe in, that we learn and love and are enriched by the people around us. That's the basis of relationships, human interaction, and our connection.

Money
Dammit I promise to only buy things that are on sale! Or not. Maybe lesser on iTunes. It is my new year's resolution not to go to weddings? If only I could. Not that I don't like to celebrate happiness, of course. This tradition is particularly stifling and money draining. Save up on the small stuff and gun for the big purchases. I'm glad my laptop is still around after 5 years, going 6 I believe. It must survive one more year. I'm not ready to get a new one. I hate eating expensive food. I enjoy the ambiance. I like hanging out with friends at restaurants over delicious dinner. There's something cosy about getting together in an excessively well-furnished interior. But is it necessary? I hate spending money on food.

Like many people my age, getting a place of my own and possibly a car are the two things that I really want but seem so out of reach. Ridiculously out of reach. That and constantly feeling upset about public transport are some of the things I have to deal with living here. But if you think about it, that's pretty tame compared to living elsewhere in the world.

I'd love to get my own place. Save on the small stuff, the expensive stuff and the stuff in-between and hope this will happen soon.

Fitness
Stellar, really. I've never been more fit in my life. I've never had to train so hard. I've never had to run so much, so far. I've never had to work out till I feel like throwing up. I've never had to expend so much mental energy to find physical strength I never (knew I) had! It's an amazing collections of challenges, from races (Men's Health Urbanathlon, Sundown, King of the Road Malaysia, Standard Chartered Half-Marathon) to IPPTs. There were also work out sessions at Sweat!, a little bit of trekking at Taman Negara, cycling in Darwin... It's super fun to engage my entire being in such activities. It's when I feel most alive!

So this year it's going to be more of the same. I'm going to continue my circuit training. I'm going to continue running, but will definitely cut down on the races. (I think I managed to complete something like 10 last year!) I hope the strength and endurance I gain will not only help me in new sports that I may take up this year, but also exploring the world around me. Hopefully I'll have the chance to go overseas to race, climb mountains, canoe in rivers, hike in forests and cycle in the countryside.

Of course, looking good in a pair of boardshorts for Zoukout 2013 will be awesome too.

Writing and Teaching
I'd like to pretend that being chummy with people is a skill, but clearly it isn't! What I'm left with, I think, is writing and teaching. I enjoy both very much and hope to really do more this year. It's getting tougher because the tuition well is drying up and I haven't been making enough effort to find kids. I guess that's my fault and also possibly my word-of-mouth among parents hasn't been particularly outstanding, despite what I think, is my rather outstanding track record teaching upper Secondary School Mathematics! And writing, well, I'll start with stringing together more words for this blog! I've been neglecting it severely last year, partly because, well, it's sort of an identity-crisis for me really. I no longer know what to write about, when so much of what I do is work. And also then there's a lot of laziness too.

But no more excuses. Maybe a few more posts what I've been through outside of work, and also a bit of insight on the work I do. No harm in that alright! Not as if I've been shutting down my social media presence. I'll get down to it. My review of Wreck-It Ralph tomorrow maybe?

I'm very happy that the first week of 2013 has gone by smoothly, except for the weather. The rain has got to stop, especially when I get off work. Other than that I had fun ringing in the new year with people I love, cosy celebrations, happiness and activities (mahjong, mahjong, mahjong) I enjoy.

To a fruitful 2013.