Love & Friendship

Maybe we've gotten it wrong.

Maybe we should treat lovers like friends and friends like lovers.

All the drama, intense emotions, up-and-downs - those belong in a friendship. It's the kind of ship that's made to be battered by strong winds and relentless waves. Being together with a group of friends should be all hands on deck as you sail through life - adventurous, sword in hand, parrot on shoulder! Laugh wildly, cry madly, puke constantly (from nights of alcohol abuse). On the other hand, being with a lover should be like being on a luxury cruise. Do the buffet. Do the casino. Do the pool. Then do it in the bed - you'll probably be able to rock it harder than the huge-ass cruise ship would in a storm.

I don't know if that comparison works cos I haven't actually been on a cruise ship before. But you get the drift.

We approach love like we deserve the best. So we try lovers like we're at a buffet, stuffing ourselves till we become sick, like you can never have your fill, like there's a better dish to try. But lovers are more like porridge, bland but it perseveres  It's something you can stick with for life, in sickness in health, when you're young and after you've become old. It's not a McSpicy, it's not a Double Down. A lover's a comfortable constant. Friends, however, are the buffet. They come in all shapes and sizes, all tastes and flavours. They should be different from you, complement you in some way. Each one a different perspective, each one pushing you out of your comfort zone, forcing you to grow, daring you to try something new, challenging you... yes, that's what friends are for!

Most people don't choose friends based on looks. More often than not, it's the after effect of having gone through a common experience, fighting common battles, going through shit together. Just like that, they stick. But maybe that's how being in a relationship should be like. Lots of us-against-the-world, constant struggle to be accepted by each other, vindicated by others (very forbidden love, ala Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast etc), forging a future together. That's how a strong bond is built. Friendships should be more superficial, kind of like blind dates. You decide within 5 minutes whether you like the person, whether there's chemistry, whether you can be bothered to contact them again and whether you'd do cool stuff with them. You don't have to commit to one and you don't have to commit the rest of your life!

It'll be interesting for friends to be treated to an overdose of passion, excitement and drama; and for lovers to be treated with stability, support and simplicity.

So just maybe, we should treat our friends like lovers and lovers like friends.