I Want

Because work is a means and not an ends, I need to figure out what I want.

Arrival

And I've finally got the mp3 player. All thanks to Chris! You're the man! Hahaha... Really appreciate it. I had lunch with him a couple of days ago and he also said something that struck me as true. "It's not a sin to buy something you really like!" Arhm, whatever it is, I'll be waiting for an invitation for that trip to Taiwan! Haha! I haven't had the chance to enjoy all the cool stuff that the player can do (such as taking it for a run) but I'm slowly finding my way through the rather complicated controls. I mean, if you want something high-end, you can't expect it to be too easy to use. (Compare a DSLR with T10.)

I know people who enjoy seeing my chart are going to kill me for missing 2 weeks of action consecutively (yeah, I don't plan on doing this week's one either!), but I think I'll take a break till next week at least! Then the chart will start afresh. If anyone has any suggestions on how to make it better, I'd gladly accept it! I'm thinking of a new format for it. I know it's a lousy excuse, but work has been keeping me busy. And contrary to popular belief it does take more than 2 hours to get it done!

I'm getting fat. Send me back to NS! My fitness was really at its peak, but I hate to think that I would never be in that condition again.

A new year - new resolutions. I used to think it was wisdom that we shouldn't bother with them. But now, what's the point of kicking off another year without new hopes, dreams and goals? I'll think through mine and post them soon enough. I know it'll be thoroughly exciting - finally stepping into Uni (when my parents' have been nagging at me to do well enough to enter since P1), trying to be financially independent, exploring the world and maybe taking on a new job.

I've had much more of a social life this month as compared to when I first started the job! I've been meeting my friends after work (a big shoutout to Guo Fei, Ivan, Shawn, Samuel and Kenneth - Death Note 2 was good) and plan on attending a couple of parties like NYE at Jie Yu's, a secret party on the 3rd January and Terence's 21st birthday on the 13th! I'll finally get to do some cam-whoring! Hahaha!

I got Edison Chen's last album Hazy last night at Gramaphone for $2.95. Well, I can understand its lack of appeal - it's rap, it's in Cantonese, he's unlikeable. But despite my limited knowledge (and vision) of Asia's pop culture (no, I don't listen to BoA), he is someone who really stands out. If I'm not wrong he's headlining a concert for Kanye West in Hong Kong. I'm not a big fan of Kanye's music, but it could be really hot if he's producing stuff for Edison (as hinted on his blog). His new album is slated for release during the first quarter of 2007.

And if Britney doesn't come up with hers next year, I'm done.

Retrospective V

I think I notice a pattern. A quiet month is very often followed by a month of catching up with friends and crazy moments. If you don't believe me, you can take a look for yourself! For April, there were only 4 photos, while it takes about 10 to sum up the month of May! So I think I'd better get cracking...



One of my favourite musicians of all time, and me with his biggest fan. Well, I'm not too sure if Ming Boon is still a big fan, but once upon a time, we pre-ordered Ye Hui Mei, and anticipated every MV to be released, and made Qing Tian the class' theme for the year!



Jie Yu and I, singing! We went to KBox earlier in the day, and weren't too satisfied. And so we continued our crazy obsession after dinner at K-ster!



The class met up again for a meal at KFC, before heading to the Singapore Zoological Gardens!



Where I got a kiss, and yeah, I like it like this!



Iconic.



It shows that you can achieve good photography with a camera of 2 Megapixels!



I went with the army guys to have a meal at Sakura and it was one of the most delicious meals I've had all year. Literally! I think I need to go back there again soon! Just looking at this brings the craving back.



Shuming, Zhenhui and I graced the AJCO concert!



And sort of held a concert of our own about a week later at KBox! It's amazing how the three of us turned up in white. After that, we had a movie marathon at Zhenhui's house, which we barely finished!



We took the most insane photos in his room. And Shuming actually used his computer to blog! Gosh! Well. I probably need to take a trip over there soon. My internet connection's actually screwing up over here. Which is partially why I don't update my blog so often.

But I'm on off today, that's why there're 2 blog entries! Satiated? I think not.

There just might be a third. Who knows?

My Only Wish

Oh yeah, so if you were wondering what I was doing on Christmas, there's your answer.

I'm not terribly resentful or anything like that. After all, the pay's good. And I think I've experienced a whole of stuff that I never would if I hadn't taken on this job. I'm constantly meeting new people, and I'm learning how to make a good first impression and at the same time being friendly and approachable. Just working to become the person I want to be is a huge thing.

Anyway without these couple of people, my job wouldn't be as fun as it is now. Wei Hong, Madeline and Bernard are really cool and played a big part in spicing up my working life! Just yesterday we (Mad, Bernard and I) were recounting the first time when we met each other. It's rather hilarious actually. The first time I met WH was when we were working together, obviously and he taught me a lot of stuff and looked out for me. Stuff like that. Without him I probably would't be half as capable nor motivated as I am now. Then there's Madeline whose first words to me was a "warning" not to punch my card because we weren't technically late! It would be a few hours after that that we started talking. We'd either be singing along to the songs played or watching her do her short segments of "ballet"! Then there's Bernard who's nicknamed Pooh Bear. I was thinking of dying my hair the same colour as his when I first saw him, and I found out his name through his other redemption buddy, Lynn. He told me he knew who I was because I would always say "thank you" when I got stuff from them. The first thing I ever asked him about was where there was good food to eat at Orchard Road! It's ridiculous, but cool.

It's amazing how our paths cross.

I'm grateful to be where I am, and I thought of sending a letter to Si Hua's sister to thank her. I'm in the company of people who are driven and serious about work, and at the same time fun to be around. Though I'd seriously like to complain about the working hours, but I suppose it's impossible to get the best of everything!

I guess my only wish this year (I haven't heard that Britney X'mas song this year till I went to the cinema today with Mak to watch Gong Li's papayas, but that's an entry for another time) is... to be a better person.

How cliche. But true.

I think I need to blog more. I've got so much to say.

Retrospective IV

I think during the course of NS I managed to nurture my love for nature and at the same time, acquire a streak for adventure. Which was pretty much why Mak and I woke up in the early morning and went for a trek at Macritchie Reservoir.



To view great sights.



Only to end up trying to go down Bukit Timah Hill. All in the span of a single morning. It was crazy but I loved it.



Also met up with Sequeena and Si Hua for a meal at a hawker centre in Bedok I believe, followed by Swensons at Marina.



And a photo at the train station before we left for home!

Pages Will Burn, Now It's Your Turn

So this will be a brief rant about what happened yesterday. (It's funny how the bad things in life inspire more blog entries than the good!)

I got a call from Wei Hao when I went for work and it turns out that he's going to be around till Sunday to help out for the road show! We had a great time chatting and I think we might be staying in hall together.

In the evening David popped by to say hi before the class outing. And to ask for the location of the ATM! A few moments later, I got a huge surprise when Guo Fei, Ivan, Shawn and Samuel came by to say hi. It turns out that they were going to meet at City Hall initially but made the trip to Orchard to get me to go out to dinner! Apparently, I was going to meet Ryan for a movie. I felt really rotten about disappointing them. And before they even left, Fukang came! He's going to China to meet his girlfriend for a week or two.

Ryan and I walked to PS, and on the way (surprise, surprise) I met my class, but it all happened rather fast. And then when I checked my phone, I got a message from Wei Jie saying, "Fuck you". It was probably due to me not attending the class outing, but still, I'm sure there's a more civil way of putting it across. After all, it was initially set on the 19th, and I plan my activities for the week once my work schedule's released.

Having disappointed two groups of people really got to me. Although it isn't really my fault.

Ryan and I ate at the food court (where Guo Rui called and sounded scarily like he was going to get me to join MLM) before I went to the Starhub at PS to say hi to Sidney and Zhi Wei. After that we went to The Cathay to watch Eragon, which was entertaining. During the movie, Mitchell messaged me (and maybe other people because it was addressed to "guys") about how heartless I/we were because we proclaimed that we were buddies but we never met up, and that she was disappointed.

Ryan and I took the train home and I was kind of stunned when Ivan and Guo Fei stepped in at Orchard MRT station. Anyway, they decided to ask me out earlier rather than later (I have this one-week's-notice-in-advance with regards to going out, because I'm not spontaneous) and so we're going to watch Death Note II next Thursday.

After all that happened it shocked me to realise how many people I knew. It was awful to know that I've let people down. But it hurts to realise that they don't understand. I can't say I didn't see it coming, which is why I said before that I can't handle anymore friendships. I've always believed that it's much better to have a close group of friends than a humungous social circle but not having friends who'd be there for you when you need them. Because they are human tool; it's not about casting a net huge enough to tie them down to you, but rather reaching out to a chosen few that you'd be able to make a difference to, and vice versa.

Sometimes we make a conscious choice of who we want to hang out with, sometimes there's time to burn and we've got to find company. Emotions are complicated. Initiatives are sometimes not reciprocated. I'm really very touched by friends who have not given up on me despite my countless disappointments. I'm sure you can tell whether the feeling is mutual.

Way back, when I was younger and childish - just before I started my own music chart in 1999, I used to rank my friends. And show them to everyone. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking, but yeah, that was what I did. It was a double-edged sword - to show those I cherished that they meant a lot to me, and to show those lower down in the ranks that if they wanted to get into my good books (literally) they had to work at it.

Very fucked up I know, but that was when I was 13. Of course I soon realised that people were not meant to rank like songs, and we love our friends for their diversity, and the different persectives they bring to our lives as well as the variety of things that they can assist us with. And that they are special in their own, different ways.

At least I don't burn bridges on purpose (MLM). There are constraints and I'm trying my best to work around them.

But why would I bother explaining to those who don't understand my situation? We're obviously not that close anyway.