Bringin' SchoolBack

I didn't set out to whine but this will probably turn out to be that kind of entry anyway.

I'm exhausted. I can't wait for school to start. I've had it with preparing for things. I want a fixed schedule. I don't want to travel more than 5 minutes. I want to have lots of cheap food to eat. I need to regain all my lost weight.

I'm busier during the holidays than I am during school. I miss school. School's nice and slack. It's a bit at-your-own-pace. After all you're being held responsibile for your results. Being in big productions is different (TMW ?!, WKWSCI FOC). There's the reputation of everyone else involved. Playing a small part makes a big difference. So I want to make it work but it's been crazy. Unbearably crazy.

These days it's tuition/FOC meetings followed by rehearsals. I barely have time to chill out at home or in hall, and have 7 hours of sleep. I can't do anything about the comments on my skinniness or the dark eye bags. I get out of the house/hall at 9 and get back at 1230AM. It's a sick sick schedule that I'm running on.

Oh my hair's a different story though, I'm going to do something about it... soon! I love how everyone is shocked by my repulsive put-a-bowl-atop-head hair. It'll just make the change more drastic.

If you haven't gotten your tickets for The Minister's Wife yet, you know where to go. Because of all the rehearsals that we've been having, it's shaping up pretty well! Go for a good laugh, something a little unexpected and to support me. Very scary lar, my first time lei!

I'm sorry to the friends that I've wanted to meet this hols but haven't had a chance to yet. Considering the fact that it's about to end and there's only a month left, half of which will be taken up by camps, there's not much time left. I had a chance to meet up with the Hall peeps to celebrate Wei Fang's birthday last Friday so I was thankful for that. I missed out on Crystal and Qianqi's birthday over the weekend, regretfully. Still my mom's birthday is today so I'm off to celebrate it with a lunch at Jack's Place.

LATER.

10 Essentials

Just something retarded I posted on the WKWSCIFOC blog that I'd thought I'd share:



Us again!

Okay, actually we really meant for it to be male-oriented, which doesn't make sense considering the male population coming into CS. OOPS. It's for the guys anyway, but the girls might find it useful.

1. Get Together

The CS camp is a chance for all of you to get together before starting school. Therefore we need you to bring what you would bring when you go to a big get together. Enthusiasm. Big smiley faces. Plenty of rah-rah. Your showmanship. The shyness and awkwardness can be funny, but on the whole leave your self-consciousness at home. Also would be nice - cold jokes, lame games and a bottle of pi pa gao. There's gonna be cheering, you know it, and at 111 freshies for FOC, we're expecting the walls of the school to crack a little more.

2. Lovestoned

We've heard that the girls this year at camp are.... wooooaaaaaah. Girls have been known to be more critical judges of other females, but it seems that our freshies have met those standards. Don't come here to be love. Stoned. Our advice? Induce nosebleed yourselves so that you don't do it during camp. Look at lots of pretty-girl photos until you become numb to them. You want to play it cool when you see them in the skin, not have so much drool on the floor till we have to squeeze 111 people on the benches to have lunch.

3. Labels or Love

Some people make the mistake of wearing their best shizzle during the camp. Don't. Keep all your nice stuff for school proper. Bring plenty of your crappiest bought-from-Thailand singlets (yah, the Singha beer one), school based T-shirts (that leadership camp from P6), and sports shorts (OK lah this one can be branded but then Nike and Adidas isn't really branded, just don't wear white). Leave the looking good for the seniors this time round at least. It's our chance to show-off our D&G, Jimmy Choos and CKs.



4. Everybody (Backstreet's Back)

This is important. Go learn all the songs that have appeared on the Top 100 End of Year Charts from 1995-2002. CS people have a propensity of breaking out into old songs. RETRO is INNO! If you're going to live to influence culture, you've first got to get it in you, know it and breathe it. And what better way than to find out what we all had in common than through the songs of the past millenium. Hit me baby one more time!

5. Ayo Technology

As you've heard - leave your valuables at home. All your latest tech gadgets and all. Uh. We're going to save you and give you a week's break from MSN-ing, Facebook-ing, blog-ging, while at the same time go cold turkey ourselves. Urgh.

6. Don't Let Me Be the Last To Know

As with anywhere else, but especially in CS, it's all about the people you know. Because we're all fantastically friendly and helpful, all it takes is knowing our names and we'd help you out with whatever you're struggling with (actually we just want to here about your girl issues). In addition, having a good ear (and a roving eye) for gossip is important. It gives you endless topics to discuss with your fellow freshies and a chance to bitch about us seniors who'll be too flustered preparing for the camp. Start by knowing all the seniors who're involved on facebook and this blog. Knowing the names of all the soccer players playing at Euro is fantastic, but it'll be great if you know ours too!

7. I Got It From My Mama

Hit the gym. There's less than 2 weeks. It might help you fill that T-Shirt from Threadless. Since when is looking lean and mean a minus? Superficiality aside (though we are betting the senior girls would be the ones drooling if someone of that calibre accidentally lost his shirt during the err... games), we have also heard (we're just GLs, we don't know about the games either, we ain't programmers. don't ask us what's coming up next either. we don't know. anything.) that some of the activities actually require... heavy-lifting.



8. Dance Dance

If you've got two left feet, get the extra one corrighted. The organisers frequent the floors of Zouk and you can be sure that they'll want to dance. WIth them. For them. Youtube Justin Timberlake and Usher. Spend a couple of hours everyday because you still have at least 10. Everyone appreciates a fierce dancer.

9. Can't Get You Outta My "Bed"

You might be on holiday and everything. Life's fantastic. You sleep and wake up when you want. We promise, with absolutely niceness, that we're going to screw your bio-clock so bad, you can't tell night from day. However, before you come for camp, get like 50% more sleep the week before. There's sure to be adrenalin but we don't want it to wear you out before we've had the chance! So. To bed, to bed before we knock you on the head.

10. Get UR "Gentlemen" On

Girls make fantastic leaders and all but they aren't going to be the ones carrying along a backpack that has the whole OG's valuables (Jason - 27 ppl's stuff instead of 20!) in it. Step up, help your OGLs. Show the manly... macho side. Look after the girls, because there are just so many of them. No matter what they say about equality, they enjoy a bit of something special, just as much as we think that they're special if they don't expect it. Unlike when you're in NS, please volunteer when we need someone to bring in the lunch, when we need someone to clean up, when we need people to do forfeits in case we lose... we promise it'll be a... saucy one.

And that's it. Okay lar this is all FOR FUN, take it all with a bucket of salt and don't take offence at all the nonsense. We'll see you... 7th July.



XOXO
In All Hawtness, Jason and Vanessa

Moment in Time

Live
Like it's the last moon rising
Scream
Just like no one cares
Lose
All of my defences

Hold you
Touch you
Love you
Like it's -

The Very Last Moment In Time

Bad News

Blood-stained teeth. The Director. Whirlwind romance. Hearty laughter. Free-flowing tears. Desperate pounding. Despondent splashing. Another run. Highest point. Ends well? Blame game. Messy scuffle. Chrysanthemum tea. Western Food. Start stop. Painful grass. Money shot. All worthwhile. Tiny break. 2-hour ride. More publicity. Fast podcast. Act 2. Team talk. Window to. Public transport. Into space. Public transport? Midnight charge. Britney's Everytime. Senseless nostalgia. 8 bus-ride. Very hungry. Endless cycle.

Capo Bastone

Too Thin

Everything's going too fast and I just have no time to slow down!

I just had the bestest family dinner for the longest time. I'm glad to have gone for NS and skipped the nasty parts of my siblings growing up. Now that they're more mature, conversations flow more easily and we fight less often. Sources of conflict are minimised because I'm hardly at home any more to snatch the computer/TV/whatever else. It felt really good that we were finally on the same level of understanding now, despite our differences.

After that we went to our grandparents' place and everyone commented that I became super super thin! And some of my relatives have only seen me last Sunday. I've seen a recent photo of myself as well, and I'm quite concerned. I look in the mirror and I can see the bone of my forehead jutting out. I... It's unacceptable. Now I'm not even thin - I look sickly! Granted, I'm still recovering from the horrible bout of illness, but I never thought it'd be this serious.

Damn.

Excuse me but I've to go think of drastic measures to look good for the play, to look good for the photo ops, for FOC...

Why Sam Rox

Hi samuel low,

Thank you for using GATECRASH!

You have bought the following ticket(s):

No.EVENTDATESEAT CATEGORYPROMOTIONSEAT ALLOCATEDQTYPER TICKET COSTBOOKING FEETOTAL PRICE
1The Minister's Wife?! @ Drama Centre, Black Box (National Library L5)4 Jul 08 Fri 8:00pmGeneral AdmissionConcessionFree Seating2S$21.00S$2.00S$46.00
Collection Fee: S$1.00
Total Price: $47.00
Paid By:Internet Credit Card

Rock and a Hard Place

There are certain things we can or cannot do; there are also certain things that I can or cannot say to you - we need to censor ourselves... there are limitations.

- The Minister's Wife ?!

I've been up to a lot recently. I've been engaging in a bit of deception, but then again, who goes through a day without dabbling in it? It's hard to pull wool over the eyes of those that you care about. But I take comfort in the fact that the truth reveals itself in time.

It's tough being judged. I've always been kindly critical, but everyone has different standards. In a couple of weeks I'll be up there and out there, in the view of many, under glaring lights.

It's a struggle. It's a struggle to look good when you're sick. I look like fuck. I've lost quite a lot of weight. I need to gain in back in the next couple of days.

No, I can't be insecure.

But what the hell. It doesn't matter. Regardless of what I've done, I've already found someone who loves me for who I am.

And that's enough.

My Everything

I'll give you the moon at night
I'll give you the stars to light your eyes
I'll give you the sun to make just one more dawn
So another day may come
I'll give you my heart and soul
I'll be there to catch you when you fall
When you ask me what I'll give you

Girl I'll give it all

I Try

My fingers are shaking.

I've only got 3 more weeks to complete the transformation. A pseudo-Jason. Not fake, but new and improved. I've to play the many parts that I've signed up to play. I have to be more than I am, to wear different shoes despite the size of my feet. I can't see how I'm going to be able to do that, but I want to. And I need to.

I'm encouraged by what little progress I have made so far, but it's nerve-wrecking to know that it's not enough. I need to bring more to the table. I'm not pulling enough of my weight.

I half-regret taking on so many portfolios. I've to rush around from place to place. Transport is sucking me dry. I don't have time to get a proper job. Worst of all I really could've devoted more effort into each one instead of splitting myself up, half-fucked in everything.

But in spite of it all, I know that after it's all over, I will be able to stand tall and tell myself that I managed to do it all. With the support of the people around me... the outcome of this holiday will be very different. I want all of the great stuff and to be able to say that I deserved it.

Storing the Accumulated

After getting my tuition pay today, I went down to the IT fair today. It was against my character to squeeze with the crowd. I would've visited it any other day but I haven't been free the entire week and tomorrow's the last day already!

I have what I need. A HP laptop. Creative speakers. Sony Ericsson phone. Sony mp3 player. I lost my thumbdrive in school last semester, but I cannot be bothered to replace it. 20 dollars seems like a lot of money.

I bought an external hard disk drive for $149 instead. In some small way, it was out of impulse. I had cash. My brother was working for Seagate. It didn't take long for me to spot him. I was keen on getting something to store all the documents that I've gathered the past couple of years. I've already lost quite a few along the way and this would definitely help solve the problem. Thrant
e last time I developed photos was about 4 years ago! I'm now glad that I've got a storage device instead of having my things stored in a laptop, and two other desktops!

I'll have a hell of a time sorting them out though!

Tomorrow marks the start of a brand new week, where I'll have a new set of challenges to face. More on that in time to come, but first let me do a bit of promo for the play that I'll be acting in in July, The Minister's Wife ?!. You can get your tickets now, here. Get them before you have to steal!

Tell Me That It's Over

The only cycle I used to know of was the way they named seasons in America's Next Top Model. Like ANTM Cycle 5. Or winner of ANTM Cycle 10 - Whitney. Now I've just finished the first of ten cycles post-ORD and I'm lokoking forward to ROD already. Booking out today was fantastic.

There'll be some people I'll miss seeing around though, those you know that you'll only see at the next ICT. They're great people. It's just that somehow it takes something on a scale as large as this to meet everyone again.

I'll be busy with a lot in the next three weeks. It's really thrilling. I'm anticipating the start of all the work that's coming in. There's tuition. I'll be rehearsing for The Minister's Wife ?!. There's preparation for CS DND. I'll be doing publicity for Dinner and Dance. And then there's also Hall FOC.

Yes, it'll be a crazy month.

Ooh and there's timetable-ing too! I'm going to take acting and short story writing next semester. I need modules that are non-examinable. And I'm genuinely interested in them too. I bet they'll be easy to get than some of the science mods!

After a rather crappy week, it's time to celebrate the end of Cycle 1! *throws confetti and takes out mahjong set at Ivan's house*

In The End

Tomorrow marks the last day of my reservist for this cycle. I used to look forward to ORD, now I look forward to ROD. It sort of breaks the momentum that I have in my life currently and that irritates the hell out of me.

There's also been a rollercoaster of emotions and states. I feel physically fitter after only a week, which just goes to show that no matter how often I exercise, it's never as intense as what it was when I was in NS. I think I've got the exercising bug again. Also, there's no other place that I feel less in control of the situation and I don't get to choose my level of involvement either. I feel proud to have done the mask run - always something for me to talk about that's slightly different from the normal kind of training.

The best thing is meeting up with friends that I haven't met up with for the longest time. Okay, so I've also had to come face to face with this fucker that I can't stand but then again you can't have all the good with none of the bad.

Tuesday after book out I had my first winning mahjong game with Guo Fei, Samuel and Ivan. Playing with them made my ICT much better. Winning was a bonus. That being said, my luck was ridiculously good. Everyone played even fiercer than usual, guarding against each other and throwing out really disgusting-looking cards. I just happened to draw tiles that sealed my win. I think we're down for another round tomorrow... hopefully I'll get lucky again.

Chris helped me wax my hair today just for fun. It looked bloody good. I couldn't bear to take a shower of it without taking a photo. I think I need to get a few tips from our resident hairstylist!

Ahhh... I could go on and on. All strenuous physical activities are cancelled which is why tomorrow will be less scary then expected. It's the last day and I can't wait.

I realise though, that I've got to stop letting things get in the way of living my life be it army or exams. Sometimes, I've got to look further.

I Don't Wanna Hear, I Don't Wanna Know

I'm appalled.

It seems that after one and a half years, nothing much has changed.

The utter lack of efficiency makes me want to tear my hair out. The worst thing is that I can only complain because there is nothing I can do about it.

Endure.

KNNCCHEEBYE!

Oh, but Sex was fucking fantastic though, and that more than made up for the day.

Confessions of the Unwilling

I don't want to go ICT tomorrow.

I don't want to go.

I really don't want to go.

I don't want to wake up at 6AM.

I don't want to eat camp food.

I don't want to cut my hair.

Don't force me.

Argh!

Why?

DND Video Shoot

Hall 12 DND 2008. Heroes vs Villains: The Twelfth Parallel

Pearlyn and I were utterly exhausted after the video shoot today. It wasn't a very elaborate one, and sometimes I even felt that it was too simple, but it was really tough to shoot. We were in charge of everything - from props, to location, to direction... It was overwhelming. In spite of that I'm glad that everything went relatively smoothly. The video editting process shouldn't take too long, so there'll probably be something really good coming out of the whole thing. Everyone's put in a whole lot of effort to make it happen.

That being said, I had my share of fun doing everything. I suppose that sense of being in the know and in control is a great feeling, although along with that comes lots of hard work and preparation.

I look forward to doing another video shoot, but not in the near future!

We've also completed two photoshoots to be featured in the upcoming DND 2008 blog. There's a lot to be done for Publicity and Publications. The event is only 3 months away but I can already feel the energy radiating from all of us, raving to go.

Sem 2

I'm frustrated. Am I not good enough? Despite the fact that I've worked harder than the last semester, my grades don't seem much better. Okay, I failed one module, got a B- and hauled in 4 B+s and got 3.2 last semester.

This time round, I got A- for playwriting, B for Comms Research (my fault, again. Like 201 last semester, I didn't do well for all the assessments before the final exam), and the rest are all B+. I'm not trying to be greedy. One more A- isn't too much to ask for, particularly in 206.

I'm not a result-oriented person to begin with. I want my degree, but I also want to have done this, that, that, that and that.

Guess I'll just have to work harder next semester, just to make up for that one module in sem 1.

Dammit.

In Preparation Of

I haven't been very productive with my week so far. It's been a lot of Gossip Girls (I finished the season!) and Date with Vampire season 1, which looks like it's impossible to finish. I enjoy lazing around and being a couch potato but I really need to get out and exercise more.

I'm probably preparing for things to rather than actually doing any of them. There're the rehearsals for The Minister's Wife ?!, and the tickets for that are going on sale soon.

I've been busy planning and preparing for the DND Video that's to be filmed this Saturday. It's only my second production and it's 5 times as long as the last one I did! Surprisingly I've got inspiration from the recently released Madonna video. It's likely that I will be using the song too.



This is one of the photos that I took while walking around Hall 12 at night just checking out the place and whether I could actually film a video at night with my digital camera. I guess it should be okay. I'll have to try out some of my more novel ideas tonight to see how they turn out though.

Last of all, I've got to pack all the stuff for my reservice next week. On the bright side it couldn't have come at a better time to tide me through my current situation where I've only got 10 dollars - cash, ez-link and atm added together. Students have been going on holidays and stuff. It's getting tough. I need more students.

I'm a bit lost at the moment in spite of all the activities, but I guess I just have to bury myself in them a little bit more and it'll probably lead to something... interesting.

Mahjong

I played Mahjong with Guo Fei, Samuel and Ivan at 12 midnight till the wee hours of Saturday morning. It was late to start but because of conflicting schedules, it was the only compromise we could come to meant a sacrifice of our own sleeping time! They kept making hilarious comments. We've got our silly secret codes for things that happen, like exposing a tile, throwing the xi-feng etc. For me it's not about the gambling. It's just the way we spend quality time with each other. It's a reason for us to meet up, come together, engage in conversation and have fun. It was great.

Samuel and I went to the coffeeshop at my house at about 5AM after two rounds of mahjong. The other two went home to sleep as they had really crazy activities for the rest of the day. We wanted to go to Mcdonalds but there wasn't any 24-hour outlet around, which I think is outrageous because Woodlands is such a big community! I had great fun talking to him. It reminded me of the time we had do guard duty together. We found that we had so much in common and it kept us awake and going strong despite having to prowl in the twilight hours. We had a fruitful conversation about school and I learned about putting in effort into classes that I attend. It was motivational.

Liqi and I went to Daniel's place this evening for a round of mahjong. The four of us (plus Yiping) have been close khakis since our exams last semester. I'm actually very upset that the both of them haven't got a place in hall next semester as of yet. Hopefully they would be offered a place once the semester starts and the second intake starts. It'll be fantastic interacting with a whole new bunch of freshies but I will be super super disappointed if Yiping and Daniel aren't going to be in hall any more.

Ooh, and I made and won a half-colour without expecting to at all. The cards I had were really nonsense. I had cards from 3 suites and things like 2,5,8; 1,9, 1,8 etc. Somehow or the other I managed to get cards and eat those that I didn't have and everything fell into place.

It also taught me that you've got to take what life throws at you and sometimes everything will just turn out for the best.