Writing About Writing

I have always thought of myself as someone who is grounded in logic and the "sciences". I've done decent in these endeavors but I was never passionate about them. I knew what I wanted to do was something uncertain and not so straightforward. Maybe slightly dreamy, not concrete, possibly formless (although that would be rather impossible). It has resulted in me being a misfit of sorts in my thoughts and in turn, my writing. To me thought and writing are one. They could be broken down into parts, no doubt but you can never have good writing without a powerful and unique inner voice, and you'd not be able to express that voice if you don't have a good command of the language.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm envious. I'm envious of people who are creative in their writing, who throw in ideas that surprise and shock, or relate similar themes with a fresh angle. Sometimes I'm envious of others' ability to make something complex seem so simple and understandable, or to describe something simple with devastatingly complicated sentences, transforming that simplicity into something more than what it is.

I think I will go into the business of creating a dream, an idea, a feeling, an impulse, a mood or reaction. Something that's not black and white. Possibly not like teaching maths, which I do for seriously for a living now. But that's the problem with these things. You can find passion in them but it's hard to find stability - possibly of the financial sort - from these ventures. It's been the reason why it took so long for me to discover that this is what I want to do.

Opportunities seem to come from strange places lately. I'll speak of them if I have the chance. For now I'm content with soaking up all the inspiration and be nourished by them. As to where they will lead me, I guess I'll have to wait and see.

After all, it isn't Math.