Will Not Waver

6 more posts to my 1000th post on blogspot. I've got about 640 posts on Opendiary, and I've written there since I was in Lower Secondary. More on the significance of all that when I've reached that 1000th post.

The more I study about film, the more I realise that it parallels real life. Drama is based on real life anyway, but when it's on screen it seems even more real than real. From that moment we are in the theatre we believe what we see. Or the TV for that matter.

I feel like I'm in the thick of drama and it has never stopped. Instead it sped up, especially after it spiralled out of control from the beginning of Year 2. Like the study of every good character, I'm trying to see the patterns of my mistakes, why I do what I do... There's a pattern and therefore there are some general causes make me react the way I do - rejecting people, wanting to be alone, indulge in TV serials and search for the truth in my head.

These are just obstacles in the way of me becoming who I want to be. I see a difference in the way I do things. There is change. The central character is thwarted but it will only make him more motivated. His determination will not waver.

These are tough messy times. Wants and needs. Others' wants and needs. Selfishness. Selflessness. Human beings are complex creatures. Sometimes having beliefs and traits that clash with each other, that I struggle to understand.