Relationship Management

If I were to come up with a list of people I've "blocked" from my life, I think I'd be looking at a substantial number. Yes, I'm more of the "fight we break up" and not the "kiss we make up" kind of person. It just takes the slightest thing for me to classify that person under "if I never see your face again, I don't mind". I must've been too free that I've surfed the blogs of people I don't talk to... and I see myself mentioned in a bitter way.

I've got tonnes of people telling me that I'm nice. Yes, I used to resent that word. "Nice" equates to being blandly pleasant, with no character whatsoever. But in these times, it's something I'd like to hold on to, this niceness.

Because I know I haven't been the nicest person.

I'm not nice enough to swallow betrayal. I'm not nice enough to give second chances. I have unrealistic idealistic expectations.

Also I've had my fair share of people taking the initiative to be extra nice to me. And I can't reciprocate the way that they needed me too. It's a matter of managing expectations but sometimes no on can take the blame. It was just not how the relationship was meant to be.

So I don't care anymore. Okay, maybe a little. But I'm not going to go through life worrying what people think of me, even if they might misunderstand my intentions or actions.

At the end of the day if you can be that shoulder for me to lean on, it's more than enough for me.