Can't Turn Back Time

It's my third day of not worrying about school work. I think I'll probably start soon. However I'm still worrying about my interview tomorrow. That's a whole load of stuff on my mind. In addition to that, I actually bought $88 dollars worth of clothes from G2000 because I was afraid that I had nothing to wear. Yesterday I bought $60 of clothes from www.spreedom.com.sg.

So I am now officially broke, especially since I'm not really teaching tuition.

Anyways, in my third day of not worrying about school, I actually thought back and wondered, "What do I feel passionately about?" I haven't been involved in something that's so loaded with emotion since... well, since the two freshmen camps that I did last year. Almost a year and a half have gone. I haven't been part of anything that's on that scale. I haven't felt that kind of bond or that kind of excitement.

I think I need one of those to keep me going. Whatever it may be. Something new and exciting and just a little crazy.

I don't know how many of my freshies and fellow FOC com members read this blog but just a little flashback happening here. Maybe it'll trigger some good memories for you too. Presenting, once again, CS FOC 08 and Hall 12 FOC 08.

Not Forgotten

I utterly hearts you guys!

An OGL's Swan Song

I didn't expect it to be tougher the second time round.

I was prepared to put in my effort and lots of hard work, but I wasn't prepared for the fact that there would be people going against me. I was so upset when I heard the negative feedback and I wasn't strong enough. I let it get to me. There was a point of time that I wanted to just quit. But it isn't in my character to take the easy way out or do something halfway.

Perseverance is a word in my name.

What I was doing was a job. It required my attention. On the surface it might seem glamorous with all the mingling and making new friends, or the adoration but who actually looks at the other stuff that we've to do in that short amount of time? Being made available and accountable for all sorts of needs at all sorts of times during the camp. It's a responsibility.

I put myself in this position because I've not really had the chance to lead before and so I thought it would be a good opportunity to learn. I did put my heart and soul, so who are you to judge and worse yet, talk behind my back?

What's wrong with being encouraging or for speaking up for me? Am I not worth that? It was a role that I took on, shoes that I tried hard to fill. Trying to live up to expectations and doing the best you can to be someone that's up there instead of a miserable low-life who's happy stagnating, easily satisfied? But what's the word that people use?

Fake.

I was crushed when I heard that. I panicked. I wanted to turn back time. I looked at what I'd done and tried to see what went wrong. I was scared to take a step front. I was speaking in a British accent for the entire night and said the word "fuck" more than 50 times during the last camp, but everyone was entertained, everyone laughed, everyone had fun. Was that me? Or was I being fake? I didn't even do any of that this time. Why am I being judged so harshly by people whom I thought knew me? Why? Have I just burned all my bridges just because I wanted to even to be successful? Why, at the very least, was I not recognised for the amount of effort that I put in, for doing things that people didn't want to do?

I don't regret doing the things I did, if you want me to improve come tell it to my face. Tell me that you acknowledge the fact that I did try my best but there were somethings that could've been better. Tell me the things that I've done wrong.

It's been so emotional both times. I feel drained. But hey, it's over.

Thank you Eric and Yixiang for telling me that I was a great OGL. I know I wasn't fantastic or anything like that, but hearing it from you guys means a lot to me, especially when no one else was telling me anything like that. Chi Kwan, I really meant what I wrote - I have that much respect for you and I wouldn't have made it till the end without your guidance. I'm sorry if I wasn't good enough. Thank you for letting me learn from you.

To the people I haven't thanked the last time round... the seniors of WKWSCI who made our FOC possible. Thank you for being so fucking encouraging. Thank you for being there when I was crying like a miserable wretch. Thank you for giving me support. Thank you for telling me that my effort was worth it. Thank you all for making me feel more valuable than a billionaire's trust fund. To the maincomm and OGLS... thank you for "advertising" me, hyping me up, pushing me, giving me such a big role to fill and backing me up all the way. All the fucking way. Without you all I am nothing.

The people I've worked so hard for - the freshies. Every single one from you from Ravioli and Halphas. That's close to 50 people. It's impossible for everyone of you to like me but most of you know of the effort that I've put in for both your camps. I think it's asking too much to believe that we'll be friends for life. But from the bottom of my heart I just want to thank you. Thank you for noticing the effort I've put in, the big and small things I've done and the emotions, blood, sweat and tears I've poured in to make your camp a memorable one. I hope that I've given you at least one or two memories to last you for life.

To those who did and still do, thank you for believing in me.

Cuz We Can Doit Betta

I've just called up my potential OG members for Hall 12 FOC which happens next week. I was feeling kind of nervous and I'm expecting a lot from everyone, especially for some people it'll already be their second camp, so we've got to make it special and interesting for them still.

Anyway, the members of Halphas were really crazy when I called them. I sounded like a DJ on drugs while they sounded ready to cheer for me over the phone. I can feel their enthusiasm and I hope they would certainly not be shy when we see them in person on Monday!

Speaking of not being shy, presenting to you, the GLs of Ravioli:







Cuz we can, cuz we can do it betta.
There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in?
Dunch b stupid, wat da hell werr you thinkin'!

Better In Time

I've just read a review and now I know why some actors don't read reviews because... well, no matter how nice the reviewer is in person, people don't read reviews that don't tell them anything, in all truth and blatant honesty. Well it does suck but all I can do is tell myself stuff like.. you know, the standard stuff. I'm diving into another project today anyway, it's the only way to keep my mind off it. And as a senior once said, the only way to get better is to keep going at it.

In other news photos of Yu Lian's 21st Birthday are up and can be seen here and here.

I went out with Ravioli yesterday to catch The Dark Knight.



We chilled out and B&J's, went to the arcade and had dinner at the food court. I'm really looking forward to our second outing on Thursday. Hopefully that'll be more action-packed. Photos here.

Jason.

Why. So. Serious.

Wo Yao Kan Dao Wo De Lian

Hot on the heels of directing the awesome video for Holy Crap! are the awesome photos of FOC taken by Jinyong. You can check them out here. I especially like this photo of me - although I don't look extraordinarily handsome (which is true in real life), I don't look skinny and that, deserves an A+. There are many more entertaining photos on the webby - he has a knack of taking the most hilarious candids. He actually took like 800, I'm wondering where the rest went, but I'm sure they'll be sexposed in time to come.

Anyway, I've also editted and put up some more photos that Vanessa and I have taken prior FOC that you can see here. I know we're full of nonsense but it's just too damn cool to just sit there on my lappy! Haha...

More photos to come!

Holy Crap

Holy Crap was probably one of the most exciting things to happen in camp, alongside Finding Nemo. I guess for both of them to have the impact that they had, tremendous amount of effort went into preparing for them. I was involved in Holy Crap and one random Monday of June, the few of us got together to film the video for it.

I heard about the reaction that went on in the LT the moment the video was shown. There was a collective gasp so loud that I could hear from the fourth floor. I appreciate every single freshie who was game enough to understand that it was one of the highlights of our camp.

I know some of the things that really went down well with the audience was the fact that it was so cheesy. I can probably guess which are the moments that lingered in your minds and made your hair stand. I've only watched it twice. It was done so well that I can't really bear to watch myself in it again! I love to see the reactions on people's faces though, that's always fantastic. I'm still beating myself up over the fact that I wasn't there to see everyone's reaction at our only big public screening, but... well... as long as you guys enjoyed it, anything goes!



The cast and crew from clockwise, Jacq - my very fierce, very on BFF cum fellow OGL, Adeline - always so crazy to see her in action and she makes me laugh till I cry almost all the time, Jinyong - the fantastic director and friend that I'm honoured to be working with, Ruiqi - the one who probably was the greatest casualty and put in the most effort in the entire thing, fantastically brave and awesome, and whom I'm proud to have worked with.



There I was wiping away all the red stuff from my mouth which stained my teeth, my singlet and the floor as well. Luckily I think the ants liked it enough to finish it off. And that was the book-scene that we did the most takes for. Phew! And we also had some people who were taking From Hollywood to Bollywood who were having lecture and came out for a good stare during their break! Damn pai seh!



One of the most hilarious scenes in the video where we were at ADM doing the silly chase with each other. I was in agony laying down on that horribly prickly grass. It was fucking painful and even more fucking difficult to look lovey dovey.



But we did it anyway! There's so much more that we filmed but yeah... you know. It's top secret still! Be glad that you're one of the few who managed to catch the finished product! =)



Anyway, just lifted this from what I wrote on Facebook:

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for making FOC so memorable for me. It's crazy how you guys were so nice... you guys made me feel like I had a second go at knowing ppl in CS all over again. Throwing me into the deep end with such a role to play in FOC 2008...It was fantastic working with all of you - an opportunity I wouldn't have given up for the world.

Till this moment, that moment has definitely been my most memorable one in school. Thanks for going through all that crap with me... and cheers to us for making it happen.

You guys rock.

<3

Ravioli-oli-oli

Ahh yes, I know everyone's dying to hear about my FOC experience. It's that feeling that there's so much to say, but then again not everything can be said here. I'm sure I'm not the only person who feels this way but it's almost impossible to encompass that entire experience in a few thousand words on the blog. You've got to be there to feel it. I won't talk about the entire thing in chronological, or maybe I will later on but I think I'll just rant.

It's my first time being an OGL. Some of my freshies probably have more experience leading a group in camp than me. It freaked me out seeing them all for the first time - all the faces I've to familiarise myself with, all the names I've got to remember. Initially I was even a little embarrassed to be standing in front of such a huge group of people and have them staring up expectedly for me to do or say something. However after looking at the comments that the freshies have left me, I think I did a decent job. They were very kind with their words for me of course but some of things that stood out were the fact that I was a "good actor", the "British accent" I used during initiation (cos I was losing my voice) and that the seniors put in a lot of effort for this camp. Blood, literally. I think I was successful in getting the OG to bond. I took care of them decently well and nobody was missing, injured, or lost anything during the camp, so that was fantastic.

I know my biggest flaw though. During the camp I was more of this "figure" to the OG. The one who cheered damn loud, struts around and give a not-so-friendly face to other OGs, giving a qian bian face when we win, standing in front of the OG's sandcastle during Battlefield ready to screw anyone who was going to use anything bigger than a water bomb, not being smiley-smiley (which is so not me cos I'm usually that!), entertaining the OG with Britney's Gimme More poledance while waiting for the bus on the Amazing Race... And my biggest flaw was that I hardly talked to any of them on a personal level.

I managed to chat with a few of them while we were going to place to place or go to their rooms for a chat but for most part I left them to interact among themselves. It was either I was too damn tired or that I was playing my "role". I know, lame excuses... I'll brush up on that for my next camp. For now though I'm just thankful that the OG on the whole was receptive to my personality, effort and the fact that they had fun throughout those 5 days.

My OG... Haha... I don't even know how to start describing them! They are a crazy bunch of people. Outstandingly crazy. From the bottom of my heart I think they are crazy when it comes to cheering. Fantastically loud. They were entertaining too, although it took them a bit of warming up and getting to know each other. But they were friendly which is fantastic. I don't see myself as friendly but they made up for that by being friendly amongst themselves and to me for which I feel blessed already. Thank you all for bothering to talk to me while we're walking... I'm so shy. Tsk.

There were some outrageous moments that the OG really came together and I liked it a lot. There was Project Runaway, where Zed wore the zeBRA. I haven't laughed that much in like, forever. Then there was initiation where they started singing along the way. They were literally on autopilot mode. Me and Vanessa were very impressed.

They sang stuff everyone knew, like BSB's I Want It That Way. Two days later they changed the lyrics of the front lines to "You are my Jason, the one Vanessa". I laughed at how ridiculous and nonsensical it was but was damn touched when they all sang it loudly, with teamspirit and pride. It blew my mind. Okay my brains got blown out of my skull again when they did it during Starry Starry Night. Freaking overwhelming.

As I said I didn't interact with every single one of them but I appreciate their presence in the OG because all of them really made a difference in one way or another. It wouldn't have been the same without any one of them. Of course every OG has people who stand out more than the rest. Seniors are humans too and of course there are some that we feel more attached to than others but I think the most important thing for the freshies is to feel a sense of attachment to each other. And in a way all the seniors who're with Ravioli feel the same way too and we'll be working hard to help them all maintain the bond, probably meeting up somewhere this week or next to share the Hagan Daaz vouchers... ooooh...

Oh yeah and there was once... I've just got to mention this! We were waiting for the start of the telematch for our NTU games. We got a chill-out corner where they were sitting around and had nothing to do. Then I remembered one of my favourite games ever - the one where you linked up your hands and try to disentangle yourself. The OG was split into two groups and then they started playing. They were an enthusiastic bunch alright, but after an entire day of games, they were starting to get a little weary. So. I. Just. Babbled. And. Said. ThatI'llgivethewinningteam... BenandJerry's.

The reaction was instantaneous and Mel and Ros were like so helpful in fanning the flames. The seniors tried doing themselves in a bid to be eligible for the little prize. It was so cool how that motivation became like a shot of drugs and they were all moving super quickly that it was actually exciting to see them finish. Anyway, I wanted to surprise them with it during Sentosa but I didn't have time to go. Luckily during Starry Starry Night Titus and V Paul did me the favour of going down to The Sun to get it. They all looked really satisfied stuffing themselves with ice cream even though they'd just finished the buffet! They had a sugar high after that I believe, because then they started going bananas while cheering and really put all their energy into the performance of the skit.

I guess it was great closure for the bet, and everything else that we've promised them this camp - friends, a good time, and the first of many memorable moments of their time in WKWSCI.

Punk'd Clueless

Probably the most fucking brilliant day of my life!

10 Essentials

Just something retarded I posted on the WKWSCIFOC blog that I'd thought I'd share:



Us again!

Okay, actually we really meant for it to be male-oriented, which doesn't make sense considering the male population coming into CS. OOPS. It's for the guys anyway, but the girls might find it useful.

1. Get Together

The CS camp is a chance for all of you to get together before starting school. Therefore we need you to bring what you would bring when you go to a big get together. Enthusiasm. Big smiley faces. Plenty of rah-rah. Your showmanship. The shyness and awkwardness can be funny, but on the whole leave your self-consciousness at home. Also would be nice - cold jokes, lame games and a bottle of pi pa gao. There's gonna be cheering, you know it, and at 111 freshies for FOC, we're expecting the walls of the school to crack a little more.

2. Lovestoned

We've heard that the girls this year at camp are.... wooooaaaaaah. Girls have been known to be more critical judges of other females, but it seems that our freshies have met those standards. Don't come here to be love. Stoned. Our advice? Induce nosebleed yourselves so that you don't do it during camp. Look at lots of pretty-girl photos until you become numb to them. You want to play it cool when you see them in the skin, not have so much drool on the floor till we have to squeeze 111 people on the benches to have lunch.

3. Labels or Love

Some people make the mistake of wearing their best shizzle during the camp. Don't. Keep all your nice stuff for school proper. Bring plenty of your crappiest bought-from-Thailand singlets (yah, the Singha beer one), school based T-shirts (that leadership camp from P6), and sports shorts (OK lah this one can be branded but then Nike and Adidas isn't really branded, just don't wear white). Leave the looking good for the seniors this time round at least. It's our chance to show-off our D&G, Jimmy Choos and CKs.



4. Everybody (Backstreet's Back)

This is important. Go learn all the songs that have appeared on the Top 100 End of Year Charts from 1995-2002. CS people have a propensity of breaking out into old songs. RETRO is INNO! If you're going to live to influence culture, you've first got to get it in you, know it and breathe it. And what better way than to find out what we all had in common than through the songs of the past millenium. Hit me baby one more time!

5. Ayo Technology

As you've heard - leave your valuables at home. All your latest tech gadgets and all. Uh. We're going to save you and give you a week's break from MSN-ing, Facebook-ing, blog-ging, while at the same time go cold turkey ourselves. Urgh.

6. Don't Let Me Be the Last To Know

As with anywhere else, but especially in CS, it's all about the people you know. Because we're all fantastically friendly and helpful, all it takes is knowing our names and we'd help you out with whatever you're struggling with (actually we just want to here about your girl issues). In addition, having a good ear (and a roving eye) for gossip is important. It gives you endless topics to discuss with your fellow freshies and a chance to bitch about us seniors who'll be too flustered preparing for the camp. Start by knowing all the seniors who're involved on facebook and this blog. Knowing the names of all the soccer players playing at Euro is fantastic, but it'll be great if you know ours too!

7. I Got It From My Mama

Hit the gym. There's less than 2 weeks. It might help you fill that T-Shirt from Threadless. Since when is looking lean and mean a minus? Superficiality aside (though we are betting the senior girls would be the ones drooling if someone of that calibre accidentally lost his shirt during the err... games), we have also heard (we're just GLs, we don't know about the games either, we ain't programmers. don't ask us what's coming up next either. we don't know. anything.) that some of the activities actually require... heavy-lifting.



8. Dance Dance

If you've got two left feet, get the extra one corrighted. The organisers frequent the floors of Zouk and you can be sure that they'll want to dance. WIth them. For them. Youtube Justin Timberlake and Usher. Spend a couple of hours everyday because you still have at least 10. Everyone appreciates a fierce dancer.

9. Can't Get You Outta My "Bed"

You might be on holiday and everything. Life's fantastic. You sleep and wake up when you want. We promise, with absolutely niceness, that we're going to screw your bio-clock so bad, you can't tell night from day. However, before you come for camp, get like 50% more sleep the week before. There's sure to be adrenalin but we don't want it to wear you out before we've had the chance! So. To bed, to bed before we knock you on the head.

10. Get UR "Gentlemen" On

Girls make fantastic leaders and all but they aren't going to be the ones carrying along a backpack that has the whole OG's valuables (Jason - 27 ppl's stuff instead of 20!) in it. Step up, help your OGLs. Show the manly... macho side. Look after the girls, because there are just so many of them. No matter what they say about equality, they enjoy a bit of something special, just as much as we think that they're special if they don't expect it. Unlike when you're in NS, please volunteer when we need someone to bring in the lunch, when we need someone to clean up, when we need people to do forfeits in case we lose... we promise it'll be a... saucy one.

And that's it. Okay lar this is all FOR FUN, take it all with a bucket of salt and don't take offence at all the nonsense. We'll see you... 7th July.



XOXO
In All Hawtness, Jason and Vanessa

Capo Bastone