Rage

-This is going to be a crap entry. You've been warned. You can skip this and move on to happier stuff like my class BBQ entry below.-

Okay. So it's my birthday tomorrow. I just wish it wasn't my birthday tomorrow. So I wouldn't feel so pissed.

I'm not going to comdemn anything. So don't sue me. But I'm sure that I have every right to say I HATE parades. I hate rehearsing for them, I don't see the point, but I've got to do it all the same. In fact, I'd rather run around doing odd jobs for my superiors than go for a parade. It's also showing gratification, but at least I see the point.

What am I talking about. Man.

I've yet to iron my uniform, I don't know if I should cut my hair, it's too late for me to buy a brand new uniform, and I just have to pray everything works out right. On top of that, I'd be doing arms drill from 7AM to 6PM tomorrow. Yay me. I don't know why I'm being put through this, but it pisses me off.

I know I said that I've wanted to go for the Brunei trip. And it might be a once in a lifetime chance. However, the lessons and everything I've to go for are somewhat draining. In fact, I can now better forsee what I've gotten myself into. I've made the decision to sacrifice a lot of my break time and got loads more work to do. But I won't regret it. It'll be tough, I'll grumble my ass off, but I won't regret my decision. Never.

There were a couple of good things that happened this week. I played volleyball on Monday evening and that was euphoric! Me, Terence, Jeffrey, Yunshen on one team and Chris, Zhi Cong, Daniel and Shawn on the other. It was really bloody cool and I had the time of my life. Seriously. The next day, after a run I think, Daniel and I played badminton! That was pretty cool too, although it took me a long time to get used to playing it again. On Thursday night we played volleyball again. I don't know why playing it makes me so happy. It makes me so happy that I forget about everything else. It makes me feel happier than happy. Shawn and Daniel are bloody good. It's fantastic playing with them both, and of course the rest who are improving (faster than me when I began learning), and also the ever-active YC who injured his wrist when he tried to jie one of Shawn's balls... and I wasn't even there to witness the power! BOO! Shawn, Daniel and I played circle with 2 platoon 3 guys as well. Argh... however, it doesn't seem that we'll have the chance to play that much this week.

I'm still pissed off at losing my wallet. And spending a considerable amount of time looking for it on Friday. Maybe it'll just pop up when I return to camp. No, I doubt it.

Also, I'm pissed off at people who don't bother to contribute. Or do sai kang when there's a need to. I don't volunteer my ass all the time. I admit, there are times when I feel lazy too. But I do try to do my share and not fucking run away on purpose. And neither do I point fingers and ask others to do it. Hmph. Seeing things like that gets my blood boiling. Of course, I've got a high bp so I haven't exactly exploded into long, elaborate chains of hokkien profanities coupled with my oh-so-powderful-GP-A2 English, to tell someone off that they should do their fair share.

This entry sounds pretty angsty.

Ah. I need to comment on this thing that people think I'm very busy on weekends or a popular person, whatever. The fact is, I try to plan my weekend in advance, then I'll have something to look forward to. It makes the work week more bearable and whatever shit I have to go through, I know I'll be occupied and basking in the love of my friends during the weekends. That's what keeps me going. That makes everyone think that I'm either purposely avoiding them, or just too difficult to ask out.

I'm NOT. And I do give a damn about every single one of my friends. Cause I couldn't LIVE without them. Yeah, I think to my friends I'm some dependent young kiddo.

I appreciate people calling me out, but being spontaneous is really not my forte. So maybe I'm rigid. But the worst part of it is when people I feel close to ask me a couple of times and I have no choice but to say no because I've made plans already. In fact, sometimes so far in advance that they're shocked. (YES Shuming, we're still on for next Saturday, it's confirmed. I think we'll be meeting in the afternoon. Free up my morning yeah... We made a date together with Zhenhui like 3-4 weeks ago.)

So I'm not trying to be dao. I only do that to people I don't give a fuck about, like when walking down the streets and I see an acquaintance. Nah, I'm not exactly friendly.

Oh yeah, and a big congratulations to Mak who got news that he can now become a pilot! YAY! He's called me out numerous times as well, and he's always not able to ask me out earlier because he doesn't know when he books out, and it's pretty much my fault when I don't ask him out, but even if I do, he can't confirm sometimes! Anyway, thanks for telling me the good news, because I feel real happy and proud for you boyo! Dreams do come true yeah! Got to meet up with him ASAP for a celebration already. Haha... yeah.

I'm still wondering about a couple of stuff, but it's mostly army things, and probably the significance of my birthday, which has all but slipped my mind seeing that I'll be MARCHING under the FUCKING HOT sun tomorrow and in the process STINKIFYING and DRENCHING a set of smart 4. Bah.

To all my friends: You know I do giveadamn so keep your cool and I'll see you really soon! =)