Thursday, November 12, 2009

Over and Done

3 minutes to 1. Nope, not productive today at all. Happy? Well, somewhat, but not really. Could be better. Yeah, could be better.

It's hard to snap out of a mood. I need to practise. Closing my eyes and forgetting everything and starting anew. It's hard. But I think sometimes we all got to learn that. To drop everything, and snap into a different state. Emotional baggage. Thinking too much. All of that. If someone came to talk to me about their troubles I'd tell them to drop it. Leave it behind.

But well, when it comes to myself, it just isn't that easy.

I don't know why I'm not very good at this studying stuff. And on top of that, looking at the companies in Phase 2, I'm rather confused. I don't know what to choose. In fact until now, I don't even know what I'm majoring in. I'm taking random things. And they still don't make sense to me.

Very good.

I think I used to be a bit more optimistic. But it seems like as you go through life, you start labelling yourself. Others label you. Based on what they see and what you do. What you can and cannot. Everything defines you. And I guess I'm so caught up with all of that, entangled by perceptions I don't even know what I stand for any more.

I think I shouldn't think too far ahead. At least for now. I should focus on what's in front of me. Get this over and done with.

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