It was therapeutic and cathartic.
In front of me was the Singapore skyline and in the sky the stars blinked casually and on the very pointy roof of those rounded structures, were stars.
When I look back I see the patterns of the decisions that I've made in my life. The fact that I'm constantly scared of failure and that I'm only willing to attempt things that I'm absolutely confident in has led to spectacular results, but it has probably, inadvertently, caused me to close many doors before I've had a chance to look inside those rooms.
I also have the tendency to want to be the big fish in the small pond as opposed to being a big fish in a big pond. I succeed when people have expectations and belief in me. I find it hard to disappoint others, but I find it okay to have low expectations of myself. That's not how I want myself to be but I've consantly proven this to be a fact.
One thing that I'm proud of is that I'm ready to admit to my weaknesses. I'm not that inclined to boast any more. I'm willing to put myself down, especially if people are already willing to give me credit for what I've done. At the same time I've grown and matured. There's this confidence that's quietly gathering momentum inside of me. I guess it's good that I put myself through more things.
It'd make a collection of good blog entries, I think, if I can bother to sit down and be patient with my memory and then be patient with my writing and then be patient with making sure the words sound right, the sentences mean what I want them to mean and that the story tells what would best represent those rusty memories.
Soon, I guess, especially if you keep encouraging me to discover the hidden story-teller in me.
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