"SALE!" snarled Rachel as her breasts rose to their fullest as she inhaled heavily from the exertion of carrying multiple shopping bags on each hand.
"Another year of retailers laughing their way to the bank!" said Justin.
"I wonder why people fall for it. Buying gifts for people who don't deserve them, receiving gifts they dislike... sounds like the perfect nightmare," I said, while calmly sipping my green tea.
"It's a battlefield! Go back to work bitches! There ain't enough space in the whole of Orchard for the whole country and their kids in strollers to be shopping. Half the population needs to die!" mumbled Rachel as she sunk her body into the couch. She dropped her shopping bags in a circle around her as if she was a Christmas tree.
"Oh, I'm so over this already. I bought presents for about 4 people one and a half months ago. No Christmas crowd. No sales, no crowd," declared Justin smugly.
"School children on holiday. Working people clearing their leave. And worst of all, those with bonuses to spend. I could barely get into Armani Exchange. What economic downturn? Non-existent!" snarled Rachel with the bitterness of an old war veteran.
I remembered a time when Christmas was supposed to bring out the good in people.
“So, how many of these are yours?” asked Justin, feigning innocence.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” replied Rachel, feigning ignorance.
“I’m guessing the bag from CK contains cuff links for Justin and I. There seems to be an unusual number of bags from Guess and Kate Spade,” I observed. “Surely you bought something for yourself?
“They were whispering to me,” whispered Rachel. “Alright. Only two of the bags are presents. The other eight are mine.”
“And how many countries’ governments would be required to get you out of debt?”
“I maxed out one credit card,” whispered Rachel. Justin and I had our eyes wide open in a look of horror. “My bank account has dipped to never-seen-before lows! This is what credit cards are for! Times of emergency!” said Rachel defiantly.
“The silliest part of Christmas sales is that there will surely be a post-Christmas sale,” said Justin, rolling his eyes.
“I’m not having leftovers! And that’s that!” With that, Rachel stood up and marched into her room with her new conquests.
“Well, thankfully, we had the sanity to stay home,” I said, sipping on my green tea once again.
“IboughtanAgnesBbagfor400bucksyesterday,” confessed Justin.
“What?!”
“I feel bad and I just had to tell someone. Anyway,” said Justin, quickly changing the subject, “Hey Rachel! Gotten laid yet?”
“Shut up!” came a shout from the room.
“Awesome! I’ve got you the perfect Christmas gift!” hollered Justin proudly with a glint in his eyes.
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