Brunei

This week was pretty boring. Really. I haven't got much to write about what happened except that I finally got involved in Exercise Dragon Warrior. I was supposed to be the 'bench-warmer' but I got activated all the same. I kind of agree with everyone who went through the exercise that it was a killer but I was happy I had a chance to be part of it. If people wanted to take it the wrong way, they might think, "Why the f--- am I so suay to be involved in it, and not be in the 'reserve' team. Having to go through all the shit is hell.". For me, it was the challenge and the thrill (okay it was terrible when I was doing it, but thinking back now) that made the entire week meaningful. I've been through the course since April this year, training and attending lectures just to carry out these drills. Even if it's just an exercise I felt that what I've been doing during the past months are actually meaningful because I get to put to use what I've learnt. Although I screwed up here and there (I didn't know how to connect the garden hose into the DWA but I did it in the end!) it was still a good experience.

Which brings me to the next point. 5 pioneers from each platoon are going to Brunei. It's going to be on a voluntary basis. Yesterday PS asked who wanted to go and I think that other than Chris and I, no one raised their hands. My heart was beating wildly when I raised mine. I didn't know if I made the right decision, because I heard that it's going to be a real tough time. It'll be field camp except that it's going to be in the jungles of Brunei. Absolutely insane. Usually when I contemplate about such issues, there'd be so many things holding me back. My insecurity about my capabilities, my endurance and whether or not my performance would be up to standard. Hell, I'm not an infantry guy and this has chiong sua written all over it. However I've thought about it over and over that what I actually want to do with my life is to do something I've never done before each day and experience as much as possible. Because that's what life's about. To brave challenges that don't often come my way.

Sometimes I've been a show-off. Overconfident. Other times I suppose I've no balls to try out things that I'm not 100% sure that I would succeed. But I know that whenever I put my mind into doing something, I've never failed (in my definition, failure does not mean absolute success). And now I know I really want to do this. I won't consider other factors that are out of my control. Of course it'd be great if the people I'm close to are going with me, but all the things that I can gain from the trip are to enrich myself.

So should I volunteer my ass out of my comfort zone and fly off to Brunei on a potentially physically and mentally torturous adventure?