Break Up

I've been blog surfing. It's like my favourite hobby ever. Which is also precisely why I have a blog. So that I can be surfed upon.

That's not exactly the point of this entry. Okay, so I stumbled upon a friend's blog, and read about a break-up. Suddenly I felt my heart break. I really felt for them. I know both of them personally and I always thought that I learnt a lot about relationsips being around them. Yeah, they were like the model couple. They looked happy together. Okay, I think xin fu would be a better word. Blissful doesn't even quite cut it. I don't know the story or who's fault it is, but with regards to these issues, I don't think it's fair to put a blame on anybody.

If NSFs succesfully sued SAF for the number of break-ups caused by serving NS and donated it back to the country, I think we could have another Sentosa.

I watched a bit of the Chaotic DVD (and people love to assume that it's bimbotic and nonsensical, but fuck you), and a part of it came to mind. Someone said that they believe in love, but they don't necessarily belive in marriage because people change. Can we still love that person, even if that person changed? He or she may no longer retain the same characteristics that you fell in love with. So is it worth that level of commitment?

I still think of her sometimes. Maybe the fact that I think she owes me three issues of Mens Health. Okay, maybe not. I didn't really even take time to mourn and think of the past because I just wanted to move on. It ended messily. Frankly I don't even know exactly why it turned out this way. It's only after these couple of months that I get to spend more time with my friends that I slowly understand what happened on my side. But if we're talking about specific reasons, then no, I'm still lost. I don't dwell on it, but I guess it deserves some thinking through. When I think of it now, there's a lot of hate involved. Awkwardness maybe. Other times it's just simply hearbreak. Now that I've moved on I'm short of having a pretty girl in my life. I only lied like 1% of the time when I told her she looked good everytime she asked.

Bah.

People step in and out of our lives freely. It's difficult to hold them back. It's difficult to know where you stand. It's difficult to get the feeling to be mutual. Because we're all so different. How relationships don't last for as long as you want them to, or are intense as you want them to be, shows us how powerless we actually are with regards to such things. I'm hit by the realisation that some of my clothes last even longer than my relationships (friendships or otherwise), so don't tell me material things don't last.

Sigh.

I'm so lost.

Without...

I'll go live in my fantasy romantic world of The OC. Gives me hope when I see them making out all the fucking time.