Jason Khor: Heartbeat

I have so much to say but I don't know where to start.

Last night was really crazy. I could see a year's worth of preparation unfolding right there in front of my eyes. When the video for the opening dance played, I was shaking like mad. I was nervous about the audience reaction. I crouched down near the stage trying to take a video of the pageant contestant's performance, but my hands were shakin uncontrollably. I was nervous, thrilled and obsessed at the same time. They took the stage by storm and I was really proud of them.

Those hours we spent rehearsing had not gone to waste. In some aspects they had it harder than we did. Their catwalk was more complicated for one and I guess overall it was much more intense for them. I know I was rather critical and sometimes even harsh but they always took criticism very well. I was honoured that they would come up and ask me what I thought and how they could improved. I was very impressed by how much they wanted to do well even though they'd always make noise about rehearsing and all that shizzle. It was also because of that that I felt freaky whenever they stepped on to perform because they were nice enough to bring my ideas on stage with them and because of that I felt like I was performing too. The experience was really mind-blowing. The pride I felt when they were up there impressing the shit out of everyone and the fact that for all of them it was probably their best performances despite there being an audience. They were really brave.

What was particularly memorable for me was also the fact that the seniors were beside me as we cheered like mad for the performances. Halphas even took out their phones to wave while David and Audrey sang Closer. Jing Ying and I had a hell of a time shaking our thang while they did the clubbing catwalk. They really lost their inhibitions and were all so natural on stage!

Of course I was quite upset when I found out that Liqi's camera went missing. I was just doing a rehearsal and I left it just beside my laptop. I guess I was stupid that way. There weren't many people left in the ballroom except the hotel staff. I don't know how it got lost. I spent the remaining time rushing about, trying to find it and it really spoilt my mood. And of course I couldn't find it. The anxiety took over me. I didn't borrow another camera to video their performance. It was really unprofessional of me, and I really regret it. But I know I would've regretted had I not tried my best to find it.

I think the residents had a lot of fun yesterday! There was non-stop photo-taking and prize-winning... I guess the entertainment value was really high. I went insane during Deal or No Deal. It was crazy when the person playing was from Halphas, and then there were 4 contestants holding up the prize-money enevelopes from Halphas too. I was nervous like mad. But Chia Heng walked away with $175 out of the possible $250. It's like my one month's tuition money! I also think this year's DND standard has moved up a notch. I liked the stage layout, but I didn't like the fact that there was no backstage and that there were pillars blocking the audience. I heard feedback that the food was so-so as well.

One of the greatest things that DND has given me a chance to accomplish was to do what I've always thought that I would like to do, except within the boundaries of expectations, demands, deadlines and then incredible exposure. I've had lots of people telling me the programme booklet was good. I thought it was one of the things that were really had standard. The other things I did rather out of experiment but still it was my absolute best - the 3 videos that were played during DND. I could literally feel electricity around me as I nervously played them to an audience of 200 and seeing it that large on a screen was also really different. It really made me appreicate the difference profs talk about when they discuss the movies and TV. Last of all, my pet project which I enjoyed doing the most - www.the12thparallel.wordpress.com. It was awesome to have people come up to me and express their appreciation for the work that has been churned out. It means so much to me when people tell me what they like and that they acknowledge the effort that I've put into all of it. There's a passion that drives me to work but it's all this positive energy that I've gotten back in return that makes me feel that wha I've done is worth it.

To the DND Committee. I don't know what to say except that I have the utmost respect and appreciation in what you guys do. The pace really went into overdrive the last month - which is totally different from what we've experienced the past year. Everyone of us truly stepped up when it required us to and I know that it's been a crazy for everybody. I'm really impressed by all the hard work that everyone willingly put in and going out of their way to make this event extremely successful. Thank you all for being so supportive and inspirational.

To all the people in my life... thank you for being understanding.