New Schedule

Well for starters, instead of quitting the job at Sony, which most of you would've thrown me a party if I did, I'm working there 4 days instead of 6. As for tuition, I've currently got 3 students - a P6 student who lives in Yishun whom I've given 2 lessons to, a P5 student who postponed his first lesson today, and my P1 cousin who's having her first lesson tomorrow morning. So a typical week for me would be something like Monday - Sony, Tuesday - All 3 of them, Wednesday - Sony, free at night, Thursday - P5, free at night, Friday - P1, Sony, Saturday - Sony, Sunday - P6. The lessons are all over the place and I haven't got the chance to organise my days properly. I'm still trying to settle into the new schedule as it's only my first week, but sitting at home in front of the computer certainly beats standing. It doesn't help that I've got a colleague who keeps trumpeting the fact that I'm doing fewer days than before, I guess it'll just make everyone else think I'm lazy and hate me more.

I can't be bothered to curse and swear and take photos but it's raining. Again.

It's actually really cool being a teacher. A mentor. I haven't taken up this role since I've had juniors in Harmonica Orchestra, which was about 2 years ago. It's just the feeling of giving guidance and having people to learn something from you that just makes me feel proud that I actually have knowledge that's worth sharing. Another level up would be when they start looking up to you and giving you respect, which I feel has to be earned. I can't even begin to describe the feeling. It's like you've become from a stranger to someone they trust, and then someone they come to for advice and to hear about your experience and they rely on you. Having to live up to expectations sometimes makes a person stronger and more capable than they could ever imagine themselves to be.

I've lost a lot of naïveté ever since I took up that job. Yeah, I think I've surprised myself and probably even some of the friends that I've related my experiences to. It's really true that working makes you grow up faster. I had to face up to some nasty things in army, but working is really something else. The tricks are slightly sneakier, the drive to perform and be noticed is much more. Unlike some people, I don't like to stay stagnant and I try to improve myself constantly because this is who I am. However I don't think I've gotten very far and as a result I don't try so hard any more. The best thing I've ever heard was from a rather senior staff who said that I was a fast learner. And that's probably the only thing I've heard with regard to the standard of my work.

Which brings me back to expectations. I'm still a kid at heart. Immature. I need affirmation that my efforts make a difference. That brings expectations that I'd work to live up to. I'm not content with merely going through the motions in life.

Anyway, Guofei, Shawn and I met up yesterday. We talked about the current state of our lives, walked from Orchard to Dhoby Ghaut to look for Ivan at MDIS. He hadn't finished work yet and so we had our meal at Long John Silvers' while waiting for him. We discussed a lot of issues after not having met up for so long, and one of the things that came up was money, which seems to have become such a crucial aspect on our lives once we start working. First of all, despite it not being as important as family, friends and spending time doing things you actually enjoy, the time we spend persuing it actually takes up a lot of our lives. My colleague asked if you could give up your life for a million, would you? Me, being the live-for-the-day and enjoying-all-the-small-things kind of person rejected the idea straight away. It's 10 more years to see the sun rise in your face, 10 more years of being with your friends around, 10 more years to see your kids grow up... My colleague, on the other hand, felt that you've to work for 5/6 days a damn week - why not spend the rest of your life not working and actually living it for say, 30-40 years? You'll probably spend more than 10 years of your entire life working anyway.

I've gotten so out-of-point.

We went to Clarke Quay after that for a walk and it was very happening. The mall's already opened. But there was this place (which I have no idea what it's called) which houses The Clinic and Attica. It was amazingly posh (pardon me for my sua-ku-ness) and definitely the kind of place you'd like to chill out at after a day of work. But then again, it's not an option when you earn a measly 30,40 dollars a day. I was in awe most of the time and tempted to have a lifestyle like that, but I must say, I don't think I'd be able to support myself, or my family (yes dammit, I do give money to my parents). It makes me more motivated to earn money though, because wants can be satisfied by money.

See, what did I say before? The older you get, the more shallow and superficial you become.