Results Announced

O-Level results were announced today! "Bobby" did decently, scoring A1, A2, B3 for E Maths, A Maths and English respectively. I told him I was happy and proud of him. He wasn't really satisfied as his L1R5 was 15 but he didn't get anything less than a B3 for the rest of his subjects. Okay, fine, he got B3 for the rest of his subjects! But I think it's great and I'm sure he'll do better in the future. It's all uphill! I'm really glad that I got the chance to teach him, that it was always great fun and his antics were always entertaining. He's a great kid.

YH got A2 for his E Maths. A bit disappointing because he's definitely A1 material but there's still this year, when he'll be taking Os with another 2 of my students.

My last O Level student was about 4 years ago, and she got C6 for A Maths. Considering she always got F9 all along it was quite achievement.

However, I'm glad I finally have some grades to brag about / show off my brilliance.

I need to not enjoy teaching so much. I fear I may get stuck with it for the rest of my life.

I Heart Maths

Whenever I think back, I always find it hilariously ironic that I'm making a living teaching Mathematics.

I was booted out of River Valley High after Sec 2 because I failed almost all my subjects. My average score was about 44/100 and I got about 40 for Maths. I was the kid who scribbled MathsMakesMeMad and random DDR arrows that'd I shuffled my feet to during lessons, in an attempt to deface my textbook. My parents were beyond frustrated and eventually hired a tutor for me before I took my "entrance exams" for Sembawang Secondary.

It was as if fate had said, "Okay you've had the crappiest Maths teacher that you will ever have in your entire life, now let us give you the world's awesomest Maths teachers that will inspire you forever."

My tuition teacher was great. In fact, she got me up to speed with my lower secondary work in a month. In school there was Mrs Goh, with 15 years of experience under her stern belt and a kindly but no-nonsense attitude, who taught most magnificently. She commanded presence in every class she taught, with her short, tinted hair increasing her "happening" factor, despite being a mother of two. She was passionate about Mathematics and her students, had high expectations of us and took every effort to explain everything. She liked to pick people who weren't paying attention. She could be understanding about the occasional crappy work but also gave those who weren't up-to-standard a rather spectacular and public dressing down.

Then when I graduated and went to NYJC, there was Mr Tan. Mr Tan, who screamed at a student who took his food to the neighbouring air-conditioned container classroom to consume it. The poor kid got so scared out of his wits that his stewed egg dropped off his plate. When he returned to class after that, told us what happened and laughed heartily about it, we all stared at him like he was some psycho-sadist-monster! He was known for his many quirks, which included asking me about my then-girlfriend during lesson time and teasing my other classmates. But above all, he was a brilliant teacher. He made everything crystal clear. I can remember vividly the way he pointed at the workings on the board and his awesome energy. He was also somewhat of a genius to us - he knew all the shortcuts, he could see what was wrong within seconds, he knew all the answers and questions to our work without the need to look at anything for reference.

Now when I teach, it's almost as if the words that roll out of my mouth are a combination of these people who made such a huge difference in my life. I am nurturing, cocky and awesome, all at the same time. This, of course, makes me feel extra passionate and slightly schizo when I'm teaching.

The last thing I would've thought of while staring at them scrawling Mathematics formulas on the board, scolding us harshly and then making us laugh, was that I would one day make use of their knowledge, attitude and teaching skills, to make a living and put myself through University. I get a sense of satisfaction at the realisation that most of the things I own I paid for with my skill and work.

I wouldn't be here without them. For that I am grateful. I never thought I would be doing this and enjoying it. That today I have students calling me to ask me for clarification about "completing the square" on the day of the 'O' Level examinations!

Why I Like Tuition

1. Most of my job involves just talking and talking.

2. They are in awe of me and I inspire them (yes, they give me "the look").

3. They make me feel young again.

4. The pay is good.

5. Shouting at kids is fun.

Kids Nowadays

Me: From next lesson onwards I'll teach you two hours.

Her: Woah no need pay more money ah?

Me: Yah la, give you free lesson. See I so good.

Her: Like that where got good. Half an hour free only...

Me: Okay lor I give you 1 hour free OK! So you have 2 and a half hours of lesson!

Her: Ahahha... ok no need no need.

Me: So 2 hours enough or not.

Her: Enough, enough... okay BYEBYE.

---

Me: So you don't know Speed is whose fault?

Him: Not my fault, the school never teach.

Me: Other school teach already. I taught you already what! Why you don't know!

Him: Don't know don't know lah!

Me: I teach you already you don't know, so whose fault?

Him: Not my fault!

Me: I taught you for two weeks already! So is my fault lah.

Him: *gives a look insinuating that it was my fault*

Me: Oh so it's my fault. VERY GOOD. I'll make up for it and sit here and teach you until you know how to do OKAY? *wicked witch smile*

---

And so I was there for two and a half hours. Almost died.

Mean Questions To Ask A P6 Kid 1

The ball is rolling from left to right. Fill in the direction which friction acts in in the blue box.

Star Pupil

Barely 4 months into the job and I have 6 students already. Like any teacher, I have my favourite student, and it's no coincidence that she happens to be the one who requires help in the subject I love most - A Maths.

I love the rapport we have. I'm quite crazy when I teach her, especially since she doesn't feel that she has a teacher-student relationship with me; I'm more of a friend. So she tells her mother that she wants to kick me out of the house in my face, asks for a break to delete some random friendster comment, while I constantly brag about how brilliant I am, and snigger when she makes silly mistakes. Of course the opposite is also true - she tells me the reason why I have the right to teach her, even if I might not be very good, is that I'm better than her, and I tell her constantly that she's good enough to tackle the questions I throw at her.

I enjoy looking at her intently with impatience evident in my eyes, which causes her to panic and demand for me to shut up even before I say anything. I think I've perfected the look that says, "Are you sure?", "Do you seriously not know how to do that?" and "I give up!". I use it to great effect and it keeps the students on their toes, although she'd usually react by saying, "Can I kill you?"

My entire tuition session has too much drama already.

I did feel that I went a little overboard when I jokingly exclaimed that she was retarded ( which she took it as it is, a joke), and was stunned when I realised that her mother was at home!

Well, for most part, her mom kinda likes me. I guess it's because I show dedication in what I do. I never seem to be able to stop when the time is up, and usually go on teaching for half an hour to an hour more, until she's so tired that she can barely understand the question that she's reading. She called me a sadist more than thrice during today's lesson!

There's nothing that makes the job easier than having a motivated student, and when one has the freaking 'O' levels looming closer every day, questions of discipline fly out the window. It's really different from coaxing a Primary 1 kid to do a problem sum or motivating a Primary 6 kid to finish his homework. With a Sec 4 kid, she's old enough to know what's at stake, and also mature enough to mark her homework and know what she's capable or incapable of doing.

She's really smart, as I told her mother after the first lesson, but she's got to make up for lost time. It helps that I have a sister who's exactly the same age, so I know what she's going through. Also, coming into contact with students make me feel much younger than I am, and I realise that time is ticking and as I grow older, the tougher it'll be for me to relate to them. I am loving every moment of this job and it helps that she tells me that she understands it much better when I explain it.

It helps that I had brilliant maths teachers during the course of my upper secondary school and junior college education. I had a terribly lousy one when I was in RVHS who drove me to desperation in the face of maths that I used to scribble Maths Makes Me Mad on every other page on my maths textbook.

The job pays me very very well too, so I usually put her needs above the other students. I'll be sad to see her go in 3 months' time, but till then, there's a lot more bickering to go!

Play

I'm having a lot of fun recently. I guess getting a new job and a new schedule was really what I needed shake my life up a little bit. Having enough money to satisfy my needs helps too. I watched three movies last week (okay, Pirates twice) and played badminton with my colleagues on Friday. That was really cool because I haven't played such a great game in a long time. It's probably because Cindy and I are roughly the same standard and we didn't take it too seriously!

After teaching 5 students today, I'm freaking tired. I can't wait to slam into my bed and indulge in dreamless sleep. There never seems to be enough time to sleep. Hmm, I won't be home early for the rest of the week due to shopping, tuition and badminton! Ooh, and I'm going to Malaysia on Friday to get my hair cut!

As with everyone else, I'm freaking out about my uni life. I've no idea what to expect, and that should be frightening. However, I'm really looking forward to it. After being aimless for so long, to return to studies and a school life is really what I'm anticipating. It'd probably be one of the finest years of my life and I want to do everything right, to have something cool to look back on!

It's nerve-wrecking. I need to talk to someone to get me calm! Haha...

Ooh, and I've lost my abs, which don't seem to want to come back despite me doubling my efforts to exercise. Damn.

I watched Shrek 3 yesterday and it was pretty good. I used to hate Shrek so I avoided the movie like plague, but I had a chance to watch the third installment with Max, Terence and Daniel. One of the best parts has got to be hearing Justin voice Artie. The part where he was whining and crying to Merlin was hilarious. It's hard to imagine that's his voice. Max drove the point home by singing Sexyback when that scene was on! What contrast! Haha... The worst thing about the whole thing was that most of the audience was either too old or too young to have watched Snow White and Cinderella to remember it as clearly as our generation. The four of us were the only people breaking into laughter at various points in the movie. The rest of the audience were so silent in their cluelessness I could almost hear their hands scratching their heads! Anyway, I guess I've got to do some catching up and watch the other two Shrek movies!

Samuel popped by work yesterday to visit his old colleagues and to remind me that I owe him a treat for getting me the job. I'll become as broke as I started if that happens!

New Schedule

Well for starters, instead of quitting the job at Sony, which most of you would've thrown me a party if I did, I'm working there 4 days instead of 6. As for tuition, I've currently got 3 students - a P6 student who lives in Yishun whom I've given 2 lessons to, a P5 student who postponed his first lesson today, and my P1 cousin who's having her first lesson tomorrow morning. So a typical week for me would be something like Monday - Sony, Tuesday - All 3 of them, Wednesday - Sony, free at night, Thursday - P5, free at night, Friday - P1, Sony, Saturday - Sony, Sunday - P6. The lessons are all over the place and I haven't got the chance to organise my days properly. I'm still trying to settle into the new schedule as it's only my first week, but sitting at home in front of the computer certainly beats standing. It doesn't help that I've got a colleague who keeps trumpeting the fact that I'm doing fewer days than before, I guess it'll just make everyone else think I'm lazy and hate me more.

I can't be bothered to curse and swear and take photos but it's raining. Again.

It's actually really cool being a teacher. A mentor. I haven't taken up this role since I've had juniors in Harmonica Orchestra, which was about 2 years ago. It's just the feeling of giving guidance and having people to learn something from you that just makes me feel proud that I actually have knowledge that's worth sharing. Another level up would be when they start looking up to you and giving you respect, which I feel has to be earned. I can't even begin to describe the feeling. It's like you've become from a stranger to someone they trust, and then someone they come to for advice and to hear about your experience and they rely on you. Having to live up to expectations sometimes makes a person stronger and more capable than they could ever imagine themselves to be.

I've lost a lot of naïveté ever since I took up that job. Yeah, I think I've surprised myself and probably even some of the friends that I've related my experiences to. It's really true that working makes you grow up faster. I had to face up to some nasty things in army, but working is really something else. The tricks are slightly sneakier, the drive to perform and be noticed is much more. Unlike some people, I don't like to stay stagnant and I try to improve myself constantly because this is who I am. However I don't think I've gotten very far and as a result I don't try so hard any more. The best thing I've ever heard was from a rather senior staff who said that I was a fast learner. And that's probably the only thing I've heard with regard to the standard of my work.

Which brings me back to expectations. I'm still a kid at heart. Immature. I need affirmation that my efforts make a difference. That brings expectations that I'd work to live up to. I'm not content with merely going through the motions in life.

Anyway, Guofei, Shawn and I met up yesterday. We talked about the current state of our lives, walked from Orchard to Dhoby Ghaut to look for Ivan at MDIS. He hadn't finished work yet and so we had our meal at Long John Silvers' while waiting for him. We discussed a lot of issues after not having met up for so long, and one of the things that came up was money, which seems to have become such a crucial aspect on our lives once we start working. First of all, despite it not being as important as family, friends and spending time doing things you actually enjoy, the time we spend persuing it actually takes up a lot of our lives. My colleague asked if you could give up your life for a million, would you? Me, being the live-for-the-day and enjoying-all-the-small-things kind of person rejected the idea straight away. It's 10 more years to see the sun rise in your face, 10 more years of being with your friends around, 10 more years to see your kids grow up... My colleague, on the other hand, felt that you've to work for 5/6 days a damn week - why not spend the rest of your life not working and actually living it for say, 30-40 years? You'll probably spend more than 10 years of your entire life working anyway.

I've gotten so out-of-point.

We went to Clarke Quay after that for a walk and it was very happening. The mall's already opened. But there was this place (which I have no idea what it's called) which houses The Clinic and Attica. It was amazingly posh (pardon me for my sua-ku-ness) and definitely the kind of place you'd like to chill out at after a day of work. But then again, it's not an option when you earn a measly 30,40 dollars a day. I was in awe most of the time and tempted to have a lifestyle like that, but I must say, I don't think I'd be able to support myself, or my family (yes dammit, I do give money to my parents). It makes me more motivated to earn money though, because wants can be satisfied by money.

See, what did I say before? The older you get, the more shallow and superficial you become.

Oh Yeah

I guess I'll have to agree with Mr Weetz's comment. The only problem is how I'm going to go about fixing it. I have a plan, but I'll have to see if the boss feels the same way about it. If not I'll have to take another choice of action seeing that I'm not feeling "happy" enough throughout my day. It's a pain in the arse.

I had my first tuition lesson 2 days ago and I was there early. I wanted to go for a swim, but the sky looked crappy. Anyway, I was welcomed by the thunderous barking of their dog, which unnerved me. Luckily, his parents weren't at home. I helped him with his schoolwork, went through a couple of topics, tripped and almost fell on a tesselation question, and gave him homework. Simple but fulfilling. At least I felt that I'd earned the money with some skill.

Yesterday I had a terribly snobbish customer who was filthy rich, but impolite and a fucking bitch. And so I didn't really give her a wide smile or anything like that. I just talked matter-of-factly. Well, she had the cheek to complain to my colleagues that I was unfriendly, when she was the one muttered audibly retarded remarks under her breath like, "No wonder Sony's going bankrupt!".

Change is hard, but I deserve so much better.

Finally

It's a disaster. There've been fewer entries every month. Boo.

I know I haven't been writing a lot over here, choosing to update the right side of this page more consistently, but it's pretty much what's going on my mind. It's the reason why I have 2 days off this week, and also why my colleagues start singing Ai Qing 36 Ji etc when they get within hearing distance.

Okay, I've finally got my first tuition offer. And I'm so glad that I managed to secure it over the weekend. It's a P6 student living in Yishun (fantastic because there's a swimming pool there, but because of the impending rain I won't be swimming today) and the pay's 15 bucks an hour. It's not fantastic but I guess I really need it. I suppose I could raise it if I manage to teach him next year, when he goes to Sec 1. I spent some time yesterday afternoon during my break to look through assessment books. Yeah, I'm such an old foggy that I can barely remember what's being taught at that level. I flipped through a bit and realised that I've come such a long way in my six years of education post-P6. I'm nervous and a little freaked out at my first assignment, but I've always liked teaching, so I'm guessing that it should be fun. I'm desperate for more though. I want to spend less days working at Sony. It's wearing me out.

Recently I've been addicted to Grey's Anatomy. And for the first time in a very long time, I slept at 240AM, due to the viewing of 5 consecutive episodes. It's crazy but I just couldn't stop myself. I watched another 2 this morning. It've never come across another serial that's as good as this one. I'm ready to throw everything else out the window just for more of this. It's good stuff.

I don't understand why it has to fucking rain when I'm planning to go for a swim. Seriously. The days that I spend at work, looking out the great glass panel to see that Orchard Road is being soaked by the sun's rays and the gentle swaying of leaves to the breeze is enough to make me feel like a dangerous, caged animal. Gosh.

Yes, I realise that there's no focus in this entry. You know on some days you have to rant and you don't make sense and you don't want to sound like you're preaching or pretent that what you've written is meaningful and thus having to wrap up your entry with "the moral of the story is..." .

This is one of them.