Move On

I met up with Shuming on Tuesday. We talked a lot but what stood out for me was her telling me that not everybody and not every thing is worth my time. I should do what makes me happy now. There's no need to think unnecessarily far into the future. Despite technology allowing us to do much more, we are more aware than ever that our time here is limited and we'll never get to do everything that we want to do, so it's a mad rush to do everything. To earn money. To travel. To find someone to love and settle down with.

But, quoting the cliche, it's not the destination but the journey. And the most important thing is enjoying that journey.

She inspired me to take a step forward and make plans, take charge and dare to move on.

I met Ness yesterday. She's probably the most familiar with my current life-situation. I ran my plans through her. It gave me more guts that what I was doing was right and it was going to happen and it would all be okay. It's that assurance that I had definitely thought it through thoroughly and that I deserved this next step - to cut down and simplify. To consolidate my efforts and energy. To dare to take the next step out and build a life of my own.

She inspired me to carry out those plans, urging me on and giving me things to look forward to, such as our grad trip.

I met Ruiqi yesterday and we had a picnic at the rooftop of the Esplanade. There was music coming from downstairs, good-looking people and ex-Singapore Idols frolicking and tonsil-tackling. We had Sushi, durian and apple juice. There was this wooden platform and I laid down there, staring at the jet-black sky. I saw two small lights sparkling and made a conscious effort not to differentiate between satellites or stars.

At that point of time I wondered if you were looking at the sky like I was.

She let me realise that I didn't need another semester of being so busy that I'd want to blow my brains out. I wanted more of this.

I thought it was part of my identity but things change. People change. I want it my way.