I Want

Because work is a means and not an ends, I need to figure out what I want.

Arrival

And I've finally got the mp3 player. All thanks to Chris! You're the man! Hahaha... Really appreciate it. I had lunch with him a couple of days ago and he also said something that struck me as true. "It's not a sin to buy something you really like!" Arhm, whatever it is, I'll be waiting for an invitation for that trip to Taiwan! Haha! I haven't had the chance to enjoy all the cool stuff that the player can do (such as taking it for a run) but I'm slowly finding my way through the rather complicated controls. I mean, if you want something high-end, you can't expect it to be too easy to use. (Compare a DSLR with T10.)

I know people who enjoy seeing my chart are going to kill me for missing 2 weeks of action consecutively (yeah, I don't plan on doing this week's one either!), but I think I'll take a break till next week at least! Then the chart will start afresh. If anyone has any suggestions on how to make it better, I'd gladly accept it! I'm thinking of a new format for it. I know it's a lousy excuse, but work has been keeping me busy. And contrary to popular belief it does take more than 2 hours to get it done!

I'm getting fat. Send me back to NS! My fitness was really at its peak, but I hate to think that I would never be in that condition again.

A new year - new resolutions. I used to think it was wisdom that we shouldn't bother with them. But now, what's the point of kicking off another year without new hopes, dreams and goals? I'll think through mine and post them soon enough. I know it'll be thoroughly exciting - finally stepping into Uni (when my parents' have been nagging at me to do well enough to enter since P1), trying to be financially independent, exploring the world and maybe taking on a new job.

I've had much more of a social life this month as compared to when I first started the job! I've been meeting my friends after work (a big shoutout to Guo Fei, Ivan, Shawn, Samuel and Kenneth - Death Note 2 was good) and plan on attending a couple of parties like NYE at Jie Yu's, a secret party on the 3rd January and Terence's 21st birthday on the 13th! I'll finally get to do some cam-whoring! Hahaha!

I got Edison Chen's last album Hazy last night at Gramaphone for $2.95. Well, I can understand its lack of appeal - it's rap, it's in Cantonese, he's unlikeable. But despite my limited knowledge (and vision) of Asia's pop culture (no, I don't listen to BoA), he is someone who really stands out. If I'm not wrong he's headlining a concert for Kanye West in Hong Kong. I'm not a big fan of Kanye's music, but it could be really hot if he's producing stuff for Edison (as hinted on his blog). His new album is slated for release during the first quarter of 2007.

And if Britney doesn't come up with hers next year, I'm done.

Retrospective V

I think I notice a pattern. A quiet month is very often followed by a month of catching up with friends and crazy moments. If you don't believe me, you can take a look for yourself! For April, there were only 4 photos, while it takes about 10 to sum up the month of May! So I think I'd better get cracking...



One of my favourite musicians of all time, and me with his biggest fan. Well, I'm not too sure if Ming Boon is still a big fan, but once upon a time, we pre-ordered Ye Hui Mei, and anticipated every MV to be released, and made Qing Tian the class' theme for the year!



Jie Yu and I, singing! We went to KBox earlier in the day, and weren't too satisfied. And so we continued our crazy obsession after dinner at K-ster!



The class met up again for a meal at KFC, before heading to the Singapore Zoological Gardens!



Where I got a kiss, and yeah, I like it like this!



Iconic.



It shows that you can achieve good photography with a camera of 2 Megapixels!



I went with the army guys to have a meal at Sakura and it was one of the most delicious meals I've had all year. Literally! I think I need to go back there again soon! Just looking at this brings the craving back.



Shuming, Zhenhui and I graced the AJCO concert!



And sort of held a concert of our own about a week later at KBox! It's amazing how the three of us turned up in white. After that, we had a movie marathon at Zhenhui's house, which we barely finished!



We took the most insane photos in his room. And Shuming actually used his computer to blog! Gosh! Well. I probably need to take a trip over there soon. My internet connection's actually screwing up over here. Which is partially why I don't update my blog so often.

But I'm on off today, that's why there're 2 blog entries! Satiated? I think not.

There just might be a third. Who knows?

My Only Wish

Oh yeah, so if you were wondering what I was doing on Christmas, there's your answer.

I'm not terribly resentful or anything like that. After all, the pay's good. And I think I've experienced a whole of stuff that I never would if I hadn't taken on this job. I'm constantly meeting new people, and I'm learning how to make a good first impression and at the same time being friendly and approachable. Just working to become the person I want to be is a huge thing.

Anyway without these couple of people, my job wouldn't be as fun as it is now. Wei Hong, Madeline and Bernard are really cool and played a big part in spicing up my working life! Just yesterday we (Mad, Bernard and I) were recounting the first time when we met each other. It's rather hilarious actually. The first time I met WH was when we were working together, obviously and he taught me a lot of stuff and looked out for me. Stuff like that. Without him I probably would't be half as capable nor motivated as I am now. Then there's Madeline whose first words to me was a "warning" not to punch my card because we weren't technically late! It would be a few hours after that that we started talking. We'd either be singing along to the songs played or watching her do her short segments of "ballet"! Then there's Bernard who's nicknamed Pooh Bear. I was thinking of dying my hair the same colour as his when I first saw him, and I found out his name through his other redemption buddy, Lynn. He told me he knew who I was because I would always say "thank you" when I got stuff from them. The first thing I ever asked him about was where there was good food to eat at Orchard Road! It's ridiculous, but cool.

It's amazing how our paths cross.

I'm grateful to be where I am, and I thought of sending a letter to Si Hua's sister to thank her. I'm in the company of people who are driven and serious about work, and at the same time fun to be around. Though I'd seriously like to complain about the working hours, but I suppose it's impossible to get the best of everything!

I guess my only wish this year (I haven't heard that Britney X'mas song this year till I went to the cinema today with Mak to watch Gong Li's papayas, but that's an entry for another time) is... to be a better person.

How cliche. But true.

I think I need to blog more. I've got so much to say.

Retrospective IV

I think during the course of NS I managed to nurture my love for nature and at the same time, acquire a streak for adventure. Which was pretty much why Mak and I woke up in the early morning and went for a trek at Macritchie Reservoir.



To view great sights.



Only to end up trying to go down Bukit Timah Hill. All in the span of a single morning. It was crazy but I loved it.



Also met up with Sequeena and Si Hua for a meal at a hawker centre in Bedok I believe, followed by Swensons at Marina.



And a photo at the train station before we left for home!

Pages Will Burn, Now It's Your Turn

So this will be a brief rant about what happened yesterday. (It's funny how the bad things in life inspire more blog entries than the good!)

I got a call from Wei Hao when I went for work and it turns out that he's going to be around till Sunday to help out for the road show! We had a great time chatting and I think we might be staying in hall together.

In the evening David popped by to say hi before the class outing. And to ask for the location of the ATM! A few moments later, I got a huge surprise when Guo Fei, Ivan, Shawn and Samuel came by to say hi. It turns out that they were going to meet at City Hall initially but made the trip to Orchard to get me to go out to dinner! Apparently, I was going to meet Ryan for a movie. I felt really rotten about disappointing them. And before they even left, Fukang came! He's going to China to meet his girlfriend for a week or two.

Ryan and I walked to PS, and on the way (surprise, surprise) I met my class, but it all happened rather fast. And then when I checked my phone, I got a message from Wei Jie saying, "Fuck you". It was probably due to me not attending the class outing, but still, I'm sure there's a more civil way of putting it across. After all, it was initially set on the 19th, and I plan my activities for the week once my work schedule's released.

Having disappointed two groups of people really got to me. Although it isn't really my fault.

Ryan and I ate at the food court (where Guo Rui called and sounded scarily like he was going to get me to join MLM) before I went to the Starhub at PS to say hi to Sidney and Zhi Wei. After that we went to The Cathay to watch Eragon, which was entertaining. During the movie, Mitchell messaged me (and maybe other people because it was addressed to "guys") about how heartless I/we were because we proclaimed that we were buddies but we never met up, and that she was disappointed.

Ryan and I took the train home and I was kind of stunned when Ivan and Guo Fei stepped in at Orchard MRT station. Anyway, they decided to ask me out earlier rather than later (I have this one-week's-notice-in-advance with regards to going out, because I'm not spontaneous) and so we're going to watch Death Note II next Thursday.

After all that happened it shocked me to realise how many people I knew. It was awful to know that I've let people down. But it hurts to realise that they don't understand. I can't say I didn't see it coming, which is why I said before that I can't handle anymore friendships. I've always believed that it's much better to have a close group of friends than a humungous social circle but not having friends who'd be there for you when you need them. Because they are human tool; it's not about casting a net huge enough to tie them down to you, but rather reaching out to a chosen few that you'd be able to make a difference to, and vice versa.

Sometimes we make a conscious choice of who we want to hang out with, sometimes there's time to burn and we've got to find company. Emotions are complicated. Initiatives are sometimes not reciprocated. I'm really very touched by friends who have not given up on me despite my countless disappointments. I'm sure you can tell whether the feeling is mutual.

Way back, when I was younger and childish - just before I started my own music chart in 1999, I used to rank my friends. And show them to everyone. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking, but yeah, that was what I did. It was a double-edged sword - to show those I cherished that they meant a lot to me, and to show those lower down in the ranks that if they wanted to get into my good books (literally) they had to work at it.

Very fucked up I know, but that was when I was 13. Of course I soon realised that people were not meant to rank like songs, and we love our friends for their diversity, and the different persectives they bring to our lives as well as the variety of things that they can assist us with. And that they are special in their own, different ways.

At least I don't burn bridges on purpose (MLM). There are constraints and I'm trying my best to work around them.

But why would I bother explaining to those who don't understand my situation? We're obviously not that close anyway.

JKYH Top 20 (76)

01. Smack That - Akon ft Eminem (+3) 7 *

02. Keep Your Hands Off My Girl - Good Charlotte (+1) 7 *
03. What Goes Around (Comes Around) - Justin Timberlake (NEW)
04. Fergalicious - Fergie (-3) 8 *
05. Say It Right - Nelly Furtado (2) 3
06. Lovelight - Robbie Williams (2) 5
07. Wind It Up - Gwen Stefani (2) 3
08. Don't Need A Man/Wait A Minute - Pussycat Dolls (2) 5
09. Irreplaceable - Beyonce (-7) 8 **
10. Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne (+3) 3
11. I Think We're Alone Now - Girls Aloud (-2) 3
12. Promise - Ciara (-1) 6
13. I Wanna Fuck You - Akon ft Snoop Dogg (-1) 3
14. It Ends Tonight - All American Rejects (3) 4
15. Tell Me - P Diddy ft Christina Aguilera (+1) 3
16. You Give Me Something/Wonderful World - James Morrisson (+2) 3
17. This Is Not Real Love - George Michael (+2) 2
18. Biao Bai - Elva Hsiao (+2) 2
19. Can't Catch Tomorrow - Lostprophets (NEW)
20. Lonely - Shannon Noll (-10) 9

Not going to have commentary this week.. till Sunday!

More To Life

There's gotta be more to life
Than chasing out every temporary high to satisfy me

Ooh yeah Stacie Orrico sure was right when she sang that. I went to Velocity (not Vivocity dammit!) and I bought 2 shirts. One for myself and one for David, whom I'm meeting tomorrow. It's definitely not as cool as the "Cam Whore - I'm a star (on my own blog)" t-shirt that he got me. However, it's still an interesting design, comfortable material - I actually put effort into getting it! That's the challenge of getting X'Mas presents - making it a surprise and not being absolutely sure that the other party will like it. Anyway, I got a long-sleeved T for myself which had the dictionary explanation of RESPECT on it! I was looking for a V-Neck actually, but I guess I'll do with something less provocative.

I also got a copy of Jolin's Wu Niang album yesterday. Not only did I finish watching the DVD, I also sang Karaoke (with a very old mic) to some of the songs till 130AM in the morning. Work stress makes me crazy.

So as I was saying, I can't be chasing every temporarily high to satisfy myself. But I just can't help it! I need some kind of instant gratification for all that hard work, and sometimes nothing does that better than retail therapy. Yes, I'm still finding something that gives me more... and I think that there'd be some people who would point me in the direction of religion, but I don't think it's the thing for me. Well, at least not yet.

Anyway, Christmas is coming. And since I don't celebrate it in a religious sense, let me just give my two cents' worth of what the holiday means to me. From my limited knowledge and stuff I've learnt as a kid through cartoons, it's the time where you come together with your loved ones (as with every excuse of a holiday), show gratitude to the people you care about, a season to be jolly, of giving, and a time to celebrate and indulge in childhood innocence and fantasy again.

In a time where I know what I'm working towards, I feel more lost than ever.

Retrospective III

One of my favourite months of the year. Got to meet up with a lot of people, did a lot of activities... it was just so cool! Haha! Some of the most memorable moments from the month -



There was an outcamp run at Woodlands Town Garden. It was super ulu for a lot of people, but it took me mere minutes to reach home after that!



Si Hua, Sequeena and I went to East Coast for a cycling session!



Terence, Jeffrey and I went back to visit NYJC. I miss that place.



One of the most fantastic moments was doing the Vertical Marathon, as seen here with Daniel, Chris, Guo Fei and Daniel!



You owe me a big meal Chris!



Another of those company things where we took a trip down to Jurong Swimming Complex. It was incredibly fun. Had Fish & Co. with a few of the guys after that.



Celebrated my good pal's birthday by walking a lot! Explored places like the new National Library and Bugis... Turning 21 soon Mak!



Zhenhui, Shuming and I went out again, and we visited Coffee Bean. I think I've lost count of the number of times we've visited coffee places...



And took photos at deserted shopping places! (Centrepoint!) Did a lot of shopping that day, and I got myself this blue T-shirt from Topman...



Which I wore on a trip to the Esplanade with Wee Lee! Cool!

Don't

I didn't realise it when I took it up but this job's really killing my social life.

Don't hate me.

Inmotion

Decisions.

Tough things to make.

I'm going to decide between going to Uni in April or in August. I need a bit of advice from all you Uni peeps. Although there's a really good chance that I'll go in in August, because I've always thought the the idea of going in earlier is retarded. But then again, going in earlier means graduating earlier (does it?) and looking for a job earlier, which might probably mean earning more money compared to what I'll be getting if I continue with my current job till June.

I don't know if I've said this before but the Night Safari called me up with regards to the post of Show Presenter. I told them promptly (while having KFC) that I had a job already. I wish I had taken the time to find out more about it, but I was really disappointed at them getting back to me 3 weeks after I posted my resume. Nevertheless, I'm keeping my options open. I might just go work for them when I start Uni.

Work hasn't exactly been monotonous. I see and learn new stuff everyday. However it's tiring. It's so different from army (when there are times where you feel so exhausted that you're going to die, and there are times where you're so free that your brain rots) and school (where you don't put in effort when you don't want to). I don't have to put in effort to be tired - standing all day causes that. Coupled with somewhat forced enthusiasm and smiles... that's really mentally draining.

Of course I'm exaggerating. Slightly.

But I'm a guy who'd rather do my best and feel beat, than being present but not contributing. I've learned that much about myself in army.

Anyway, I've gotten myself a cologne called Inmotion, from Hugo Boss. Yeah, I bought the tester. I can't help but buy stuff to reward myself after all I've put in to earn the money - just to be assured that it's all worth it.

I'm getting that freaking mp3 player this weekend.

Retrospective II

A huge thank you to Angeline, Wee Lee and Edmund who stopped by to see me on Saturday! We talked a bit much though, because my colleagues joked about calling their friends to come over too!Haha... And how apt it is to kick off the recap of the month of February where we sent our fellow classmate Angeline off to Australia for further studies.



Something we sneakily did during the CNY celebrations after she left.



A group photo at the airport.



As with every good photoshoot - an outtake! Haha!



Also had a really late night out at Orchard with Zhenhui and Shuming. Chilled out at coffee joints...



And posed with the displays of shops when they were deserted!

JKYH Top 20 (75)

01. Fergalicious - Fergie (+2) 7 *

02. Irreplaceable - Beyonce (2) 7 **
03. Keep Your Hands Off My Girl - Good Charlotte (-2) 6 *
04. Smack That - Akon ft Eminem (+2) 6
05. Say It Right - Nelly Furtado (+5) 2
06. Lovelight - Robbie Williams (-1) 4
07. Wind It Up - Gwen Stefani (+4) 2
08. Don't Need A Man/Wait A Minute - Pussycat Dolls (+1) 4
09. I Think We're Alone Now - Girls Aloud (+3) 2
10. Lonely - Shannon Noll (-6) 8
11. Promise - Ciara (+2) 5
12. I Wanna Fuck You - Akon ft Snoop Dogg (+3) 2
13. Keep Holding On - Avril Lavigne (+3) 2
14. It Ends Tonight - All American Rejects (2) 3
15. Headlock - Imogen Heap (-7) 6
16. Tell Me - P Diddy ft Christina Aguilera (+4) 2
17. Rock Steady - All Saints (-10) 10
18. You Give Me Something/Wonderful World - James Morrisson (+1) 2
19. This Is Not Real Love - George Michael (NEW)
20. Biao Bai - Elva Hsiao (NEW)

At #1 this week is probably another surprise. Reigning the chart is Fergie with Fergalicious. Although she did a fugged up performance of it (probably because she wasn't feeling too well, because usually it's way better) on the this week, it still fuelled my addiction for the song. Apparently, the performance is doing wonders for the single as well as it makes a leap from #10 to #4 on Billboard Hot 100 after previously peaking at #3. If you want to see what she's really capable of, you might wanna check out this performance. It's crazy how we all agree that the song isn't a proper song, lacks class, but secretly do a little dance to it in our on private time when the song is on! She's huge now - I bet anything she releases from The Dutchess will go Top 5 easily. She's got attitude and style but she needs to work on being desirable. I think that's her tripping stone.



Holding strong at #2 is Beyonce who is really blowing competition out of the water with Irreplaceable. This week she trumps the Billboard chart with the track. And there's another performance from her which you can view here. A song like this is really amazing for the Christmas spirit too. It sounds festive enough. Good choice Bee! Maybe you'll be able to get 5 singles from B-Day!



And there's no one else who currently has more singles from their album charting around the world. Loose has churned out Promiscuous (winner of Billboard Pop Single of the Year), Maneater and now Say It Right. The woman also has All Good Things (Come To An End), which moves from #13 to #4 on the UK Singles Chart, just as she announces her UK tour dates. She's certainly come a long, long way since I'm Like A Bird (which I detest). Cheers to the one of the biggest female artistes who helped shaped the face of Pop this year. (I'm sorry you're not one of them Christina.)



Anxious to show off what she's got before the year comes to a close is Gwen Stefani. I can safely say that Wind It Up (at #7 this week) is a song you'll either love or hate. There's no in between. I'm sure you can make a stand with regards to all the yodelling. She describes it as "a modern, trippy version of The Sound of Music". Her album, The Sweet Escape will be released next Tuesday. She continues to amaze with her unique fashion sense and stylistic performances. However, I really think she should go back to No Doubt once she finishes this project. Yeah, I'm tired of solo Gwen already!



And yes, I miss the voice that brought us I'm With You. 22-year-old (she's only 2 years older than me!) Avril Lavigne is back with the leading track from Eragon, Keep Holding On (#14). I love how she hits the unexpected high notes in the middle of the melody. It's so her. There's nothing you can SAY, there's nothing you can DO... Damn you've got to hear the song if you haven't! She's rumoured to be releasing new stuff next year, which I am really looking forward to. I want Nobody's Home Part II! I've got a love/hate relationship with her. She's private, music-making, tough, punk-rocker, girly, jewellery-wearing... Yeah, I don't really know her as a person, and that really sucks, but her music is top-notch. So I guess she's succeeded really well as a musician.

As for the new one from Elva, which makes its debut on the day that I've heard it at #20, you can catch the video here. Thanks to Ryan for the link. Fab song really. It just confirms the fact that I have a fetish for bimbotic songs. I have no idea why. I'm going to sing it the next time I have a chance to go to KBox. Watch out!

Alright, new ones include - Jojo - How To Touch A Girl and it's OFFICIAL! KILL ME. Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around (Comes Around).



I just saw it on Billboard.com and I'm so incredibly excited! Ooh, and I've something to share - Victoria's Secret Fashion Show with Justin performing Sexyback and My Love/Lovestoned. Okay, I didn't just watch the performance. I watched the entire thing... HOT. The girls were really gorgeous. Now I know why girls give themselves a hard time when they see supermodels like these. They're goddesses!

The music world surprises me everyday.