Fuck You

Seriously, when you make the same mistakes again and again, it's hard to be there for you. Wallow in self-pity. I don't care. I can't make a difference. It doesn't matter whether I give you any support. You don't care either.

You gave me false hopes. Do you know how much I looked up to you? Do you know that I called you, in front of everyone else, the best? I really don't understand why you're doing this to yourself. I don't understand what you're trying to prove. I don't know what you're trying to show the world.

Why?

I'm beginning to think that you make mistakes on purpose. For the attention. Cos there isn't really much else that you can do.

Fuck you Brit, your va-jay-jay is all over the internet again.

Joke

Due to issues of timeliness (I know a bit of journalism), the birthday post has been pushed back yet again. Haha... there're more interesting things that happened today anyway! I think I'm addicted to blogging. First, the sad news out of the way. I lost my file containing my draft to my COM203 term paper as well as the research, and journal entries for theatre, not to mention my bloody notes. I can get the notes easily though. It's my work that I'm upset about. I think I left it on the bus when I was headed to tuition. I fell asleep, my mom called, distracted me and as I hurried off the bus I forgot about it.

Maybe I left it in Can 13 instead. I'll go check it out tomorrow morning. I'm still trying to be optimistic. I've given up on doing work today because I have nothing to work on! Ah well.

I've learnt that you should always read the scripts given to you before you go for theatre lessons. I was smart to run back to hall to get it after I forgot to bring it along with me. But I was quite stunned when I started reading the part where I was supposed to try out. There weren't too many guys to begin with, so I was lucky enough to be performing that scene. Obviously I played Gallimard.

The "Love Duet" creeps in over the speakers. Special comes up, revealing, not Song this time, but a pinup girl in a sexy negligee, her back to us. Gallimard turns upstage and looks at her.

Girl: I know you're watching me.

Gallimard: My throat... it's dry.

Girl: I leave my blinds open every night before I go to bed.

Gallimard: I'm shaking. My skin is hot but my penis is soft. Why?

Girl: I stand in front of the window.

Gallimard: What is she going to do?

Girl: I toss my hair, and I let my lips part... barely.

Gallimard: I shouldn't be seeing this. It's so dirty. I'm so bad.

Girl: Then, slowly, I lift off my nightdress.

Gallimard: Oh, god. I can't believe it. I can't --

Girl: I toss it to the ground.

Gallimard: Now, she's going to walk away. She's going to --

Girl: I stand there, in the light, displaying myself.

Gallimard: No. She's -- why is she naked?

Girl: To you.

Gallimard: In front of a window? This is wrong. No --

Girl: Without shame.

Gallimard: No, she must... like it.

Girl: I like it.

Gallimard: She... she wants me to see.

Girl: I want you to see.

Gallimard: I can't believe it! She's getting excited!

Girl: I can't see you. You can do whatever you want.

Gallimard: I can't do a thing. Why?

Girl: What would you like me to do... next?

Ahhh, yes. I was reading my part happily until I came to that particular line where I just could not help but gasp. Of course I freaked a bit (actually a lot because I started pacing and feeling tensed), read it out real loud, caught everyone else's attention, and then the initial looks of surprise turned into laughter. Then everyone gave their two cents worth about referring to my "equipment", my "happy friend", wanting to check if it was really soft etc. etc. It was really awkward and I don't know if I did the play justice and whether I was more hilarious than serious. But to do something so provocative, interestingly enough, was kind of liberating. It was probably the first time I acted as someone that is quite different from me in real life. I admit to being horny, I'm a guy, but this in front of almost 20 students, and 16 of them girls... was just... a very freaky moment! As I got into the role, and felt more relaxed, I kind of enjoyed it - the heavy panting, clutching my arm, shaking my leg, horny stares and all. It was just really different. Upon further reading though I was supposed to be acting a guy who was 65 so I don't think I was entirely right in my portrayal!



And my room has never been this full of stuff before! Daniel got his key today and he moved in with such efficiency I didn't even have a chance to help!

A big welcome to my new roomie (and Twinkle and Full Moon)!

Guo Fei's 22nd

Happy 22nd Birthday Guo Fei!



Just the Saturday before he came over to my place and celebrated my birthday with me. The very shuai GF says that this is one of the few red shirts that he has and I should be honoured that he followed the theme! Haha... alright, so I'm delighted that he did, but I think almost everyone looks cheery and good in red. It's a great colour! Anyway, today, Ivan, Samuel and I celebrated GF's birthday at a steamboat place at Bugis!

The food was moderately good, but on the rather expensive side. Anyway, it took quite some time for Sam and I to sneak out to buy the cake from Bread Talk and then getting the staff to put it in the fridge. We almost ran out of stuff to talk about, and we were bloody full from all the food we stuffed into our stomachs, so I went to get the cake.



It's quite a unique, tall cake!



And me with the Hall 11 Hall King! Woah! Haha... I look terribly tired. I think I need more sleep. Anyway all of us are planning on going on an overseas trip at the end of this year. It'd probably be some beach resort or some big city in Malaysia. We had some trouble making up our minds, but I think we're pretty committed to the idea of going overseas together.



And here's Ivan and Samuel! I've got a video of Sam with a variety of crazy poses but I think he'd kill me if I posted it on the internet. It's hilarious though and I could probably give you a peep if you asked politely enough! We had a great time catching up with each other. In fact, I talked to GF for almost 5 hours in total. We left school at 630 and reached back at about 1130! It's ridiculous how much we've got to talk about.

I think I overdid it with my rant about wanting to SU Maths 111.

Anyway we took quite a lot of group photos.



All of them came out ridiculous and funny... It's great seeing these guys again. We were the original mahjong gang. The last time we played together at Ivan's house was more than a year ago though! I missed the times where we'd talk nonsense and play mahjong games that felt like it would go on forever! I'm sure we'll have a chance to do it in the near future, probably after the exams! Haha...

Finally, I know some people think that the quality of my entries are dropping. I don't know how I'm blogging differently from what I've done in the past but rest assured that after this month of partying, I'll have less frivolous stuff to talk about!

Publications

Hall 12 Publications '07-'08.

The Big Birthday Rock Show

I would've gone done earlier if I didn't have any commitments but as it turns out I had a lecture that ended slightly later than usual followed by water polo training. Despite sometimes being apprehensive because of my obvious incompetence, I enjoyed myself a lot, and yes, it is good exercise. Dan, Kel and I rushed back to have dinner at Can 13 before I went for a short Publications meeting where we took a group photo! After that Clarence and I made our way down to The Big Birthday Rock Show at WKWSCI! (That's our school!)



The highlight and draw for me was definitely King Kong Jane. I've been a big fan ever since I first saw them live at NTU's Vertical Marathon on 11th March last year. Since then I've seen them perform at Singapore Poly, this year's National Vertical Marathon (during my 1 hour break while I was working at Sony Wisma), Bar None, East Coast and JASH! YES! So this is the 6th performance I've attended so far... and I must say there's something new to look forward to every single time!

I loved the "old" favourites being performed - Crowded and especially My Brown Lollipop. I don't know why but all of a sudden I got "If It Wasn't For You". I've heard it a couple of times but this is the first time it really got to me. Maybe it was the small venue, maybe it was the slight drizzle... but that performance was outstanding. The Quan Dao Shou Bo (World Premiere) of The Emo Song was amazing too. The new sound took command of the audience's attention almost instantly. When Umbrella came on... the crowd went crazy and Kenneth even took out his hp to record the performance, while I recorded it on my camera. It's just something you'd want to experience over and over again. Colin cracked a few jokes that were really funny but I can't remember the one that was especially hilarious! Dammit. But he used the "Crowded" thing super a lot of times already lah!

You can take a look at their MySpace where you'll get to listen to some of their original works and check out the dates of their upcoming performances!



Spotted my Sec 1/2 best friend Derek. He was one of the bands who played. An accomplished singer, guitarist and writer... Yep, kind of wasted that I didn't get to see him perform. It was really cool seeing him again after about 2 years? I last saw him at a run at Sentosa, and we've already known each other for 9 years already!

It was great to see some of the other cool people around especially comm historians Yiling and Sheila, who were hosting, and Kenneth as well as Melvin and Pamy.



Ou Xiang!!!

Ooh, and my room has been kind of quiet recently, after my roomie packed his stuff and left on Saturday.



Sad. Sad.

Blogging vs Term Paper

Yes, I need to straighten my priorities. I'll do less socialising. I'll do more studying. I'd rather be editting photos from my birthday, because I've just received them today, and I know you guys'll love them too, but I have to get started on the term paper. I actually promised myself to finish it this weekend, but it's come and gone and all I've done is the outline. I shall sit down and try to make a proper start on it! I won't have time to do it in the next couple of days. For example, I've got water polo tomorrow after lesson and I wouldn't miss KKJ's performance for the world, so I'll try my best (no promises!) to attend the CS Birthday thing. I'll try to finish the term paper tomorrow, at the very latest I'll get my blog entry up by Wednesday. It's a promise. Till then!