The Teenage Jokebook

"Common sense and logic - not needed in a book about teenagers."

"Chung Kai was also not too bright, but generally happy-go-lucky. You would be surprised to learn, however, at this moment (a) he wasn't feeling very happy, (b) he wasn't going anywhere, and (c) he wasn't feeling very lucky."

"If you think playing the part of a Moron in public is degrading (and I would agree that playing with anyone's parts in public is degrading), then you might wish to try the Mumbler approach."

"If dresses had names, this would have been called the Social Welfare dress, because it had no visible means of support."

"Without help from friends, a person suffering from 2B (Breakup Backlash) needs about two weeks to recover. On the other hand, if that person's friends offer sympathy and support, 2B can take only about fourteen days to cure."

"If your answers are all (c)'s then you are neither romantic nor horny (i.e. you are a true Singaporean)."

"Mui Ee remembered in the old days when Sissy told her nightly of her various adventures with so-and-so, and how she was always having brief flings with boys flinging their briefs - or so it seemed."

" 'In fact, I really believe that a man's family name reflects his character. What's your surname?'

'Loo,' answered Kok Sean."

"If you think you're going to be late then cancel the date. Give standard excuses (e.g. "my dog died", or "I've just rescued a five-month-old from the river")."

"What do you expect? You pay peanuts, you get monkeys."

And our personal favourite...

"The boy had always wanted to drive very badly. Today, he was indeed driving very badly."

The Teenage Textbook, despite being written close to twenty years ago, is good stuff. Thanks to JY, my roomie and I have been laughing out loud while reading, which is a rather rare experience. The next conquest - The Teenage Workbook!