Twisted History

Herdotus is Hiro. Thucydides is juicy titties. Polybius is poly-breasts. Titus Livy is Lively Titties. Tacitus is taciturn. Petrarch is Petrovich. Boccaccio is Boh Ka Chio. Leonardo Bruni is Leonardo Dicaprio. Niccolo Machiavelli is a piccolo. Francesco Guicciardini is some kinda pasta. Martin Luther is ML King.

Now, if I can only think of something for Leopold von Ranke.