Turning 20

So this is how it feels to leave teenhood. It's no longer somewhere in between, but rather the beginning of a life with more freedom and more responsiblities. Both of them come hand in hand. To be able to live life as you want it and taking charge of how it turns out. The uncertainty ahead makes it all the more challenging.

I ask myself what I want to achieve before I hit 21. And then I realise it's the same things I've always wanted, except that now I'm more ready and more capable of accomplishing them. In short it would be to strive towards perfection as a human being. That makes it sound like I want to be like God but all I want is to improve myself, and better myself at everything I do. There must be some kind of direction. And some kind of timeline.

I'm a fan of living for the moment. And I get a lot of grief from my parents for that. Sometimes it's a monetary issue, and at other times they don't feel that I'm responsible enough to think for my future. I'm not out to prove them wrong. It's just that I believe that it's important to have fun now and make everyday worth living, than to go through a lot of shit just for a better tomorrow. I've got the partying out of my system already though; this week has been a blast. I've met up with the people, outide of family, that I'll probably spend the rest of my life with. For that I'm really grateful. I just can't emphasize on that enough.

I've also realised that I don't always say what I feel. But that's an entry for another time.

I've decided what I'm going to do before I turn 21. I'm going to push the limits of my self-belief, work towards being a better person, glamorise my wardrobe, earn enough money to get me through half of my uni life and excel in sports. I know they sound like big dreams, but I'll give it my all.

You only live once.