Of energy.
Of passion.
And my very volatile feelings have been working overtime of late. In fact, they're straining to burst out so badly that I haven't been able to put a cap on them, like I usually would be able to. Maybe somethings in my life have changed.
Or maybe it's just me.
Anger.
Happiness.
Confusion.
I used to wonder what was the difference between being hot-tempered and petty. Both pretty much means that the person in question would frequently be pissed off about things. The key word here would be frequently. The only difference I can think of would be the reaction. A hot-tempered person would start blowing his top, screaming and reacting violently at the situation. A petty person would probably ignore people and run away from the situation.
I used to brush off the things that were bothering me. I pride myself in being a person with tolerance and acceptance of others. But as I said, it has come to a point where I can't keep the cover on any more, and as I see it, I had two ways to react. And I chose the former. Twice this week, I lost my cool. At the very people who were my friends. At that point of time, all I could feel was my entire body trembling, my thoughts wrecked by emotion and thus my actions warped. I didn't regret them (I didn't do anything wrong), because it was the best I could do in the face of the situation but I felt embarrassed. Even ashamed.
I used to be in control. I guess somewhere along the line I lost it.
My energy is better channelled off to other things, but I can't help reacting strongly to things that I place importance in.
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